LAUGH

I am a certified 'laugh-er" (allow me to use my own word), apparently the more I love someone, the funnier I find them and consequently the harder I laugh. This thesis is yet to be proved as my friends are bonafide exaggerators. Regardless of the love-ometer, you can always count on me to laugh at anything. I rarely have Kristen Stewart photos of myself or that pouty thing because I have laugh marks the size of gullies, so you're most likely to stumble upon a smiley picture of me like I just won a four year vacation with Pharrell Williams (By the way P, I think it's about time if you're reading this...just NOT saying)

There's something so freeing about those "pee releasing laughters", am yet to experience those but I get a huge feeling they are very selective although I've managed to literally lose my breath laughing (while watching 'what to expect when expecting') my neighbours at the cinema thought I was getting untimely seizures. 
I am not saying laugh inappropriately...(yet to define what I mean by that) but do release yourself. Laugh at your own stupidity, life is too serious with all the "what next in life monologues".  When the moment to laugh and be the loudest comes riding on that black horse...TAKE IT and roll on!


“I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person.” Audrey Hepburn

How tough was your break-up? more chocolate please...

"Relationships are harder now because conversations became texting, arguments became phone calls, feelings became subliminal messages online, sex became easy. The word 'LOVE' gets used out of context, insecurities have become your way of thinking. Getting jealous became a habit, trust has been lost, cheating became an accident, leaving became the only option and being hurt became natural"

For my refreshing raindrop...

The moment you mentally establish and realise that whatever sort of relationship you had with a certain male person has come to its expiration date has got to be the most awkward, funniest and low moments a girl can experience. Oh yes, and that question, 'who dumped who?' ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? In my time of distress and sorrow you're going to ask me such a disrespectful question? SERIOUSLY? Errr why don't you go and eat a wet frog and don't forget to take your question with you. Honest to goodness, some times we are so cruel to those hurting emotionally.

There are many reasons why people "break up", the first is the infamous cheating, followed by its despicable half siblings lies and general bad manners. Of course the lesser evil list isn't to be forgotten...falling out of 'like' or 'love' with each other, it isn't you...it's me type of reasons (wait, that should be closely behind cheating), the good old long distance and apparently short distance too. The list is long so I'll save us from those minuscule details.

It really doesn't matter what your reason is, we can all agree on one thing that boy oh boy do we suffer from the terrors of heartbreak and heart bruises. That aftermath characterised  by endless tears (anything less than shower hour and dim lights doesn't suffice) really, if you're gonna cry your heart out make it memorable, 'I want to kill you punch your one eye out' ipod playlist, going crazy trying to figure out what you did wrong? what's not right with you, oppressive and constant memories of what used to be that just won't quit! and of course, missing that significant ex so much that you wish you could throw a rock at his face so he could know how much it hurt. 

We desire to properly hate that ex and actually mean it so it could hurt a little less for us and yet still wish to be embraced by the same person, like his embrace would consume all your pain away. You feel scared that you might never heal from it all, for every stitch on your heart is frail and likely to come undone every time you cross paths. yes 'we are never so vulnerable as when we love' and I know moving on is as hard as walking on toothpicks. I have good news for you, being single is not an STD, it doesn't tone down your awesomeness... plus you don't have to anticipate any break-ups...what a relief!

I literally beg of you, please do NOT hate your ex...well I know in some situations it's hard but make peace with the situation as it is. There's nothing heavier than carrying a burden that shouldn't be yours. Baggage shouldn't be part of your new life, you're not a camel or a scania truck...so let it go.  Some exes need to be out of your life. It doesn't mean that they are bad people, it means they died in the first 3 minutes of the movie...(yes Chris Brown remember how you met death so fast in stomp the yard?)


Like seriously, I wish it was mandatory to sign contracts before stepping into a happy go lucky relationship that conveniently ends in a sticky situation. A detailed contract of 5000 words with pictorial evidence of what to expect if all comes tumbling down. I for one would really appreciate that, maybe we would reconsider taking some steps. 

I do promise that if your heart is in the right place, everything will get better, you'll put that chocolate bar down, stop sulking all the time and regain a hold of your life...you've got so much more to live for and it is  such an amazing life you have. Do not burn your brain out trying to figure out where it went wrong or what's wrong with you, honey...there is absolutely nothing wrong with you...people are just trying to figure themselves out too.

Be Still

I had a crazy Monday morning icited by the 'just a little more time in bed' procedure. I was ready to let myself fall apart and I quickly remembered how well that had worked out a fortnight back...So I conquered the Monday morning blues...that in my books simply means I am on top of IT the whole week.

So when all is spinning and life's filled with turmoil, stop for a minute and STILL yourself. Breathe in and out, say a little or a big prayer and suddenly all will unravel like a red woolen glove...(yes yes lady in Spain).
If we don't still ourselves, we are most likely to sweat profusely, curse and probably do or say something we will soon regret. Apparently all that sweating and cursing yields very little. There really is so much movement in stillness.

"No thought, no action, no movement, total stillness. Only thus can one manifest the true nature and law of things from within and unconsciously, and at last become one with heaven and earth." Lao Tzu

Beautiful Flaws

I found an amazing tip on how to deal with flaws. Anything that requires me to make a list...you don't have to ask me twice...I am on it like white on rice. On your list, write down your best traits or all your good traits and not so good traits. Reading your good traits everyday reminds you of what an amazing person you are, and your not so good traits keep you humble. What are we trying to achieve? We are aiming for BALANCE.
This list will remind you of your strengths and fuel the desire to change the not so good things about you. I am a host of imperfection and it's nice to know that no one is perfect...(but they really should make a manual on "how to be perfect" I sure would like that.)

My list (the short version).

My good best traits.

1. I always go the extra mile for people
2. I give good advise
3. I work hard
4. I am tolerant
5. I forgive easily
6. I smile a lot

My worst not so good traits

1. I love hard (sometimes good, sometimes not good)
2. I am difficult complex
3. I am sarcastic
4. It's the small stuff that bothers me the most
5. I am passionate aka too deep a person (needs verifying)
6. I am an introvert.

I hope this balance thing really works out because I cannot wait to be perfect in my imperfections. Make your lists and we can all give this "theory" a try. Good luck.xxx

No Butterflies, No Rainbows, No cute Rabbits week!

Oh my life, what a week! What a horrendous week! The only ray of sunlight that shone on my mess was that I had a job and I like my job description (most times). At least that's something to smile about. Right?

I hadn't felt such emptiness and loneliness in a while as I've been on a constant happy-go-happy trip. Apparently when you least expect them, the lonely and wretched ghosts shout 'SURPRISE IT'S EMPTY PARTY TIME'. How does one get from such highs to such lows? Let me clear something out, this is NOT a pity party, it might sound like it, it might even look like it, it might be called one by some BUT it's NOT a pity party. I am solely responsible for my misery.(hooray) No, that would be a lie, let's add my alarm clock and non conducive roads to the causes. 

Funny story I have, The other day, I gave one of my 'I love life speeches' to my dearest friend. "Life is beautiful, you should embrace it. See, you're a beautiful and intelligent person with a body to die for and you deserve a whole cake". If you're wondering whether I felt hypocritical, well...wonder no more. I did not (Yay me). Although I meant every single word made in that speech, all I really wanted to do was to give her one of my imaginary black scarfs, dark round sunglasses, and listen to the 25 most exquisitely sad songs ever written and performed, rest her head on my laps as I hum to each one of these songs. We would have had the time of our lives..eh?

I was physically exhausted, emotionally drained and HUNGRY all the time! I managed to wake every day and smile with cracked lips all the while wanting to throw the gloves in and just give up...just give in as the end prize's worthiness had diminished in my sight. Every time I made the fickle decision to give up, a sign appeared and He wouldn't let me. He kept reminding me through the smallest of things that He never fails, that this too shall pass like every good and bad thing that's in the past. 

So...being the warrior woman I am, I decided to keep fighting, waking and sleeping using that back up energy stored from my happier days. Regardless of the past week's busy schedule, conflicting emotions and semi "bi-polar" tendencies, I managed to stay at peace. I could feel my heart smiling, chuckling and muttering, "you're a naughty warrior". With all the crazy unpleasantries that unfolded in the past week, I am certain that my happy days will come back running Kiprotich speed to me. For now, let's fake it till we make it. After all, time is just time and it ALWAYS passes...it always passes.

MY BEAUTIFUL COUNTRY IN IRON CHAINS.

I drive by in my car with tinted windows and full on AC singing to the music pulsing through my radio. I passively see what’s going on around me. A woman with three children, one on her back, the other on her side and holding the third’s hand. I see beggars on every corner, and somehow my heart’s not responsive. I am immune to the gaping poverty all around me. The buildings sing in a low hushed  voice, singing so low as they sink into the ground, dirty water running through the city. The child bends and washes his little pale face with this same water.

Why am I wide-awake like it’s the first time I am seeing this hopelessness? Why do I feel ashamed? It's not my fault! Are we poor because of our government’s apathy and callous ways? Are we poor because of the laziness that society tolerates? We are lost in an abyss and there’s no one to save us. Not even the government we hold in such high esteem.

My country is beautiful, it has the potential for an economic boom, its beauty promises us prosperity. Children dying due to hunger and disease sleeping under our beds. The earth in its redness opens its hands as it takes all with it, no mercy in its eyes. My country, my poor, beautiful country held in iron chains and unable to break free.

I see a child, 14 years old, making his way through the traffic to my car with a sense of hope in his steps. He smiles thinking that I am reaching for some loose change. To his despair, I reach for the central lock to ascertain maximum security. My heart unresponsive, my music even louder, my country in chains. 

Open Letter 10/08/2012

Now that am back home in Kampala, I find myself excessively busy. I was always on my phone but of late I forget that I have one and even when it rings, it sounds so alien. When I lay in my bed at 10:30 pm and feel my feet sore from all the standing and my throat dry from all the talking, I find this sweet pain very rewarding. I am not surviving...I am on top and it's surreal.

The downside to being back home is that I miss my friends immensely. I find myself talking about them in almost all my conversations and I am certain that one of these days I will have no audience but I am learning to adjust. (I am still wishing that they all lived in Uganda.) I don't get to have DMCs (Deep Meaningful Conversations) on the daily but am glad Research In Motion has made our lives a lot easier.

My heart is at peace, I have never felt this before. I am loving this season. I am loving meeting my old friends and laughing wildly like Bertha Mason (how I love Jane Eyre). I don't want this season to end. It's a good place to be.

Keep your heart at peace, free your mind, no envy, no hate, just sip your cocktail and live it breezy.