Waking up in Zambia

Last week, I woke up next to my best friend whom I hadn't seen in three years but because we like to exaggerate, I'll say I hadn't seen in forever (It felt like it had been an eternity). While I waited for her to wake up, I went through my morning routine. Looked for my phone, went to whatsapp, went to my emails. Usually my emails are pretty much the same, scroll...scroll...scroll, BOOM an email from Empower Women updating me about the status of my article.

Empower Women is a United Nations Women's (UN Women) global movement for women's economic empowerment. A few months back I got this opportunity to become a blogger for their WE Inspire blog. My mind was like, 'shuuuuttttt up!me?' What could I possibly write about that would resonate with thousands of people?

After spending a reasonable time on their blog reading the thoughts of such intellectuals, my heart started to get anxious. I mean these profiles of men and women look like they know what they are talking about, they have attained more experience than I have. Oh you know, the usual fear banter.

See, fear waits for us to get these good opportunities and then steps in and reasons with us. If you give into fear and start to see your weaknesses, you're bound to be your own enemy of progress. We won't see the other side of things if we give in to fear. After I decided to shake the fear off, I knew that it wasn't a competition. It doesn't matter who writes better, who is more qualified, who understands women issues most. It's about coming together as a community and sharing our thoughts and inspiring each other to go and make a change.

Yesterday, while I watched this documentary of Muhammad Ali visiting Congo, I wondered to myself, 'what makes a woman or a man memorable even when they are no longer on this earth?' COURAGE.

There are so many brilliant stories on WE Inspire, and I know data is an luxury for many of us, but I hope you'll find yourself challenged to go after your cause with fervor. Here's a link to my very first article, feel free to critic and to share it with your people.

http://www.empowerwomen.org/en/blog/2015/11/30/01/46/how-do-we-make-women-issues-the-issues-of-other-women

To being courageous.

X

Morning Sunshine

7 something am sunrise

‘Holy is the Lord revealed before my eyes

And my burdened heart can scarcely take it in

As I behold your beauty with unworthy eyes

The only song my soul can find to sing

Is Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah my King’

Woke up extremely early this morning, and by extremely early I mean 6:04am! WOAH! I had prayed the day before for God to take away the unfathomable love I have for sleep and I asked Him to wake me up early so that I can squeeze in some gym time. I haven’t seen the gym in a month or so and I desperately needed to get my mind more active.

We all know 5 seconds of a work out are bound to get us speaking like Gandhi. So here’s my Gandhi.

What a year! Heh? I sat on the bench watching the sun rise and thought of a lot of things. The things I prayed for and actually got to see them happen like Candy in NYC. Isn’t it just like God to pay attention to the smallest of details? If it matters to us it matters to him.

Last year or early this year (trust my mind), I told someone that in the morning I pray to God to help me choose my outfit. She asked me ‘why bother God when there are bigger things to ask Him for?’ I didn’t know how to explain it to her. For me, it’s as simple as God is my friend. I let Him in my closet as much as I let Him in my tears. He is constant with me. I have mind convos with Him. He hears my loud prayers as much as my silent prayers. I am far from perfect hence why I’m so needy for God. If He doesn’t help me choose my #ootd, I might just walk out in a bikini yo, in the middle of the coldest day. I kid you not.

There are so many things I am praying for, impossible in the natural. Sometimes I ask myself why I even try for those things but if there’s something I’ve learnt from the few bible chapters I have read is this; God can’t wait to show off in the lives of those walking in faith. Will you choose to walk blindly in faith and trust Him that in His perfect timing EVERYTHING will work out? Will you choose to see beyond the hopelessness in the present? Will you love others, be generous, and be faithful in the little even when you don’t see any reason to keep going?

I pray we will because I want to live a life that gets people to question, how? Why? And those questions would only have one answer…only Jesus.

November I’m ready for you.

HELLO OCTOBER - SEPTEMBER GRATITUDE LIST

Of course I am going to quote Oprah.

I hope you had the best September month. I had a mostly good one and I know and believe that October is going to be even better for you and I. Feel free to share your gratitude list with me. :-)

My September.

September 1 - I just received a box of flowers sent to me. A BOX people! A BOX! They are so beautiful. So weird, I was thinking of flowers on Monday.

September 2 - Simon Cowell he is literally the funniest person I've never met. Grateful that I have a TV. He is gold.

September 3 - slept in till 9am. YES! 

September 4 - grateful for my Genesis, she sends me the nicest, longest, most encouraging messages EVERY single morning. She's the kind to make you feel like you're the most special person alive.

September 5 - spent the day with my Chel beans. She's such funzies time. You know what I love? I love that she seeks my hand out and holds onto it with such unwavering trust. Grateful for sister time day filled with disapproving eyes from me to her, desserts, laughs and cuddles. I don't even like cuddles but I'll take hers.

September 6 - grateful for my church. Where else would I want to be on a Sunday?

September 7 - grateful...grateful for the Eve and Nico staff... Today was just all sorts of amazing! Most amazing team there is.

September 8 - what would I do without best copy? Or the hardware store? I know every time I walk into their stores, am like a walking 'discount girl'. These guys put up with all my discount requests and always welcoming my sarcasm. They are just the best and am grateful for them. If ever you're on the upper west side do check them out for your shipping, printing and hardware equipment.

September 9 - walking into our house and finding my mama home! I love when she's around, she makes everything extra special. I am my mama's girl.

September 10 - I love my job, I love my staff. Still can't believe am not using my undergrad or graduate degrees to do the job am doing. I'm tempted to return my degrees and ask for a refund and in return, they can drain the knowledge out of my head.

September 11 - today was perfect. In all ways imaginable. I feel, so... (I'm looking for the word) simply put, I feel great. God showed up! Forget Fitz Grant showing up! 

September 12 - grateful that our shop, in its size is capable of being such an attraction on the west side. Blessings on blessings. My cup literally runs over! Anna and Tye am grateful for you two.

September 13 - U.S. open was so much fun!!! 

September 14 - I had $0.85 cents and I wanted $1 chips to eat while I wait in line for my pm bus. Wahida (who has been my Indian mental friend for ages) works at a kiosk at port authority. I told her all I had on me was $0.85, she smiled and gave it to me for the sum I had. She then followed her act by saying something remarkable. 

Backstory: Wahida works evening shifts. Most evenings for the past 8 months, I'd pass by her kiosk with a card to buy $1 chips. I'd always apologise profusely for my lack of spare change (a habit my mama dislikes). She'd smile and say it's okay and swipe my card. You'd think I'd learn to keep $1 on me. Right? But I kept at it. Other days I wasn't as hungry, I'd just wave and go straight to my bus gate. We'd never had a full convo but what we have going is great. Today is the first day we had a convo that had more than 6 sentences. I like Wahida. 

September 15 - grateful for all things technology. Let's start with the Internet! Hallelujah 

September 16 - No! Today I just wanted to slap a dozen people! Can I just say if ever you're a small business and want to do Internet advertising etc, this is what you should never do. This one thing only. NEVER USE DEX MEDIA for your advertising. I don't know the man or woman behind them who is capable of making me feel the most violent of feelings but let's just say, I am grateful for all the lessons in life that taught me to show grace and patience. 

September 17 - grateful to God for the opportunities He has created for our business. Sometimes it almost feels unreal that I am part of something bigger than me. It is the most work I have ever done in my life. I love it and all that am learning and experiencing. My cup literally runs over. 

September 18 - laughing... I want to laugh for the rest of my life. My sister asked me to do her makeup. She's going for prom in a few weeks. So home-girls are contouring, are 5 shades different, lips are on. Life was good. THEN she asked me to fill her eyebrows to get them fleeky, which I of course obediently did. It looked like I had plastered caterpillars on her brows! It was the funniest sight ever! Hashtag iscared. I laughed so much, and cried. Legit tears running down my cheeks. That never happens, I never cry while laughing. I didn't want it to ever stop. She looked horrible but It felt SO good to laugh like that. I wish I could laugh like that thrice a week. Anyhow, am grateful for moments like those. 

September 19 - for the people I've met in this city that make it less lonely. Most times I can't believe that I now have legit connections in NYC. There was a time when I didn't know anybody outside of my family. 

September 20 - quiet time. I had the afternoon to myself. I NEEDED it. 

September 21 - Teen Titans... Made my day

September 22 - grateful for medicines and bed

September 23 - three things.

1. having someone make me the best playlist... Good way to end the day. 

2. My uncle spent his whole day at work with me... He said 'can you believe you work in a shop?' And then we laughed. But most importantly he fell in love with what I do.

3. Am grateful that Anna is feeling well. 

September 24 - thankful for friends who send 20 minutes voice notes, I'm never alone.

September 25 - Mindy Kaling, you give me so much happiness. Indeed I will continue to invest my monies in her books.

September 26 - family night at Tao. I so do not deserve my family but hey favour ain't fair. These guys are life itself. Had a good night with loud music and endless food.

September 27 - brunches and walks in Central Park. Also by opening our hearts to understand others we in turn make it possible to be understood. The ducks in Central Park have leg swag for days! (Leg swag: ducks standing on one leg while stretching the other)

September 28 - we've been planning to watch Aladdin for forever but we wanted friendly priced tickets. Today, we got discounted tickets to watch. I CANNOT WAIT! I loves me some Broadway. 

September 29 - I had a terribly frustrating  morning. Later that afternoon at the peak of my hunger, I stood outside a restaurant reading their menu with a basket in my hand. After staring at the menu for over 10 minutes debating if I should faint or roll on the floor (because making a food decision can be so hard at times) this person walks up to me with a smile, gave me a hug and for a second I was so confused. Did he mistake me for those small time TV actresses who you wish well in life? It took me a minute to realise I actually knew this person from last year when he worked at a restaurant opposite the shop. I decided to go in and have a meal and show support at his new job. And then he gave me FREE bottomless tea. Yes I just used bottomless for tea and not mimosas. Grateful for free tea! 

September 30 - Empire... Thank you Lee Daniels. Can we just give a round of applause to people who actually make TV happen. This is a huge deal for so many of us who have no social life. Television is bae.

Open Letter: Defying Gravity

Dear friend,

I had my very first TV interview today. I had known about it for two weeks, forgot about it until the phone call. Honest to goodness I didn't think much about it from the first time I was told of the opportunity until last night aka the night before the big day. 

I convinced myself that it wouldn't be as hard and that I actually knew what I was talking about because I know the products in the shop, I know where each is situated, I know the origin of each product, I know whatever there is to know about the material and textures involved and, I know it because I've been around it too long not to know. 

I'm no superstar. Do I enjoy being in the spotlight? Not necessarily, I do not care much for it but I understand its financial benefits and its impact on creating awareness. 

I sat there not knowing which camera to look at, words mumbo jumbo in my head, and although it wasn't 100% what I wanted to say (of course conveniently everything I should have said came to my mind on my way home), I am not disappointed in myself. 

Sure I could have said more. I had started to beat myself up but then I got a hold of myself. I am not going to be  hard on myself, I have left that role to the viewers. I on the other hand, I'm going to have compassion on myself, and I'm going to look in the mirror and tell myself that 'I am proud of me, this is just the beginning, we are still in practice because one day I am going to be on CNN and when that day comes, I will be good at interviews and I will know what camera to look at and I will say all that I have to say and most importantly I will say something that will inspire someone to dream stupidly like I do'. I will not give into the temptation of perfection. I am not trying to make a case for mediocrity, I don't like mediocrity and I am not for it but I am human, and humans are relatable.

Dear friend, today just like that time I sat inside a radio facility, just like that time I sat in the General Assembly hall, God in His mercy and kindness has showed me yet another glimpse into how His plans for us are not limited by our incapabilities, not limited by our lack of big words or proper grammar, not limited by our education, not limited by our weaknesses, not limited by our background, not limited by our gender and definitely not limited by our resources. Did He say it and will He not do it? Then He will do it through you whether you're sleeping or awake. Whether there's an army against you or not. So dream, what's the harm in that? Yet again I'm filled with hope, overflowing into the future and knowing without fear or uncertainty that 'it is well'.

Dear friend, I... I haven't even done the work, I haven't sweated or struggled as much. I thank God for my mother and for being patient with me as I learn, as I make up excuses for things being out of my element, she takes chances on me, and although we are like Gilmore girls, she's more my rock than I hers. My mother, what a woman!

And to my Guntz... Although I was the 'star' of the day, you were the truest star in my eyes, your ability to be present, your selflessness, your surprises and, your heart make me want to get on a 9 hour bus to Pitts. I hope you know you have my heart. 

It's bed time. My heart is full. The makeup is off. Speaking of makeup, I understand why people would wear makeup everyday, I felt like a mermaid! I had chiseled cheeks, eyebrows were on fleek (literally), eyelashes like brooms. I mean friend, I kid you not, I was checking myself out in every mirror, every angle, telling myself 'I can tap that' whatever the 'that' is and although I enjoyed it, I am happy to be back to my bare face, it doesn't photograph as well, but am sure I can find some good lighting.

In the meantime, I hope we shall both dare to  dream. I hope we shall both believe that the best is yet to come. I hope we shall both work hard. I hope we shall both appreciate now and work towards tomorrow. I hope we shall understand that hunger and thirst for better is good but have discernment to judge for ourselves what is profitable to our souls and the souls of others and what is a destruction to our souls and the souls of others. I hope we shall never be afraid of failure. I hope we shall not be afraid of success. I hope that we shall always be aware that our existence is not only for our benefit but for the benefit of everyone God has put in our lives.

X

Your mind friend

OPEN HEART POLICY

Loving people isn't easy ya'll (somebody scream 'yaaaa sista') we are not easy to love at all. It is very challenging but I want to make love my love language. 

I want to love people till it exhausts me because I want to live a blessed life. I want to forgive so easily, I want to be steady, and I want people to feel comfortable around me. 

Sometimes we shall feel like people don't deserve our love, but do we deserve their love? What qualifies us and what disqualifies them? 

We search for the meaning of life blah blah blah but truth be told LOVE is the meaning of life that's why we have hearts. 

I am not afraid of being hurt anymore. I refuse to live my life in 'the fear of being hurt zone' because now I have experienced freedom and it is liberating. We all know what it feels like to be hurt and sometimes we are the people doing the hurting whether intentionally or unintentionally. It's part of life. That said, we have a choice to love through the hurt or to be bitter and burdened through life. 

Each morning wake up and be determined to be love, to love God, to love others, to love yourself, to love your life. Let love be the theme of your life and I promise you, your life will be a continuous unfolding of beautiful people, things and moments. What a magnificent way to live! 

How to live a blessed life

1. Love God 

2. Love others 

“You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought."

“You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink is the best meal you’ll ever eat."

“You’re blessed when you care. At the moment of being ‘care-full,’ you find yourselves cared for."

“You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world."

“You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family.”

‭‭

Matthew‬ ‭5:5-9‬ ‭MSG‬‬