Open Letter: Defying Gravity

Dear friend,

I had my very first TV interview today. I had known about it for two weeks, forgot about it until the phone call. Honest to goodness I didn't think much about it from the first time I was told of the opportunity until last night aka the night before the big day. 

I convinced myself that it wouldn't be as hard and that I actually knew what I was talking about because I know the products in the shop, I know where each is situated, I know the origin of each product, I know whatever there is to know about the material and textures involved and, I know it because I've been around it too long not to know. 

I'm no superstar. Do I enjoy being in the spotlight? Not necessarily, I do not care much for it but I understand its financial benefits and its impact on creating awareness. 

I sat there not knowing which camera to look at, words mumbo jumbo in my head, and although it wasn't 100% what I wanted to say (of course conveniently everything I should have said came to my mind on my way home), I am not disappointed in myself. 

Sure I could have said more. I had started to beat myself up but then I got a hold of myself. I am not going to be  hard on myself, I have left that role to the viewers. I on the other hand, I'm going to have compassion on myself, and I'm going to look in the mirror and tell myself that 'I am proud of me, this is just the beginning, we are still in practice because one day I am going to be on CNN and when that day comes, I will be good at interviews and I will know what camera to look at and I will say all that I have to say and most importantly I will say something that will inspire someone to dream stupidly like I do'. I will not give into the temptation of perfection. I am not trying to make a case for mediocrity, I don't like mediocrity and I am not for it but I am human, and humans are relatable.

Dear friend, today just like that time I sat inside a radio facility, just like that time I sat in the General Assembly hall, God in His mercy and kindness has showed me yet another glimpse into how His plans for us are not limited by our incapabilities, not limited by our lack of big words or proper grammar, not limited by our education, not limited by our weaknesses, not limited by our background, not limited by our gender and definitely not limited by our resources. Did He say it and will He not do it? Then He will do it through you whether you're sleeping or awake. Whether there's an army against you or not. So dream, what's the harm in that? Yet again I'm filled with hope, overflowing into the future and knowing without fear or uncertainty that 'it is well'.

Dear friend, I... I haven't even done the work, I haven't sweated or struggled as much. I thank God for my mother and for being patient with me as I learn, as I make up excuses for things being out of my element, she takes chances on me, and although we are like Gilmore girls, she's more my rock than I hers. My mother, what a woman!

And to my Guntz... Although I was the 'star' of the day, you were the truest star in my eyes, your ability to be present, your selflessness, your surprises and, your heart make me want to get on a 9 hour bus to Pitts. I hope you know you have my heart. 

It's bed time. My heart is full. The makeup is off. Speaking of makeup, I understand why people would wear makeup everyday, I felt like a mermaid! I had chiseled cheeks, eyebrows were on fleek (literally), eyelashes like brooms. I mean friend, I kid you not, I was checking myself out in every mirror, every angle, telling myself 'I can tap that' whatever the 'that' is and although I enjoyed it, I am happy to be back to my bare face, it doesn't photograph as well, but am sure I can find some good lighting.

In the meantime, I hope we shall both dare to  dream. I hope we shall both believe that the best is yet to come. I hope we shall both work hard. I hope we shall both appreciate now and work towards tomorrow. I hope we shall understand that hunger and thirst for better is good but have discernment to judge for ourselves what is profitable to our souls and the souls of others and what is a destruction to our souls and the souls of others. I hope we shall never be afraid of failure. I hope we shall not be afraid of success. I hope that we shall always be aware that our existence is not only for our benefit but for the benefit of everyone God has put in our lives.

X

Your mind friend

50 random facts about me

1. I love to sleep, so much that I plan my social life around my bed time.

2. I like to be carried on the back. I guess I wasn't carried enough as a child or I was carried a lot. It could go either way. 

3. When I have children I'd like them to have my name as their middle name and the father's as last name like 'Jolie-Pitt' but like 'karungi-*insert husband's name'. 

4. When am angry in a text convo I use French to end that convo... Oui et d'accord on those rare occasions I suggest to stay away. Ps. In my head I'm French. Also in my head a lot of things are right.

5. Ice cream any day... My Candy and I would go to the gym and then immediately go to costcutter for ice cream. Thank you Haley for trying with us. 

6. Fave colour red, but I like black, and white and grey.

7. When am asked how many children I want, I say 9. I don't know if am kidding or not.

8. I love bread! I love bread so much. Sometimes I go to restaurants just to eat their bread. I love bread.

9. I love New York, I don't care how dirty it is, I don't care how cattle crowded the subway is at 5pm-7pm (I care a bit), I love New York.

10. I love French, the language, the clothes, the people. I just want to bathe in French and come out speaking mademoiselle Chanel seulement! 

11. I eat more rice and chicken than the average person. F'real I eat rice and chicken A LOT!

12. I have two cook books 'can't cook cookbook' and 'how to boil water' (cooking is something I've recently taken on because I don't want my children to eat at the neighbours')

13. I don't like tight clothes... They are uncomfortable.

14. Tshirts any day, all day, any way.

15. I'm mostly absent minded.

16. Forgetful is my middle name. I think if it's not dealt with right now I am highly likely to forget my baby in the delivery room. I kid you not! (let's start to rebuke that!) 

17. Tea Tea Tea... A world without tea is a world I would not want to live in. The bigger the mug the better, with the exception of small cutesy cups of course.

18. I like going to bookstores, there's something about a building filled with books top to bottom.

19. I like pretty stationery... Kate spade has harvested my monies! Her line is just so pretty, glitter, flowers. Can you tell am a tomboy?

20. Amir in the kite runner made me so angry, I had to stop reading the book for 2-3 days to get my emotions straight.

21. Although darcy is the man of my dreams (and I think he should stay there... Dreams) David is the man of my heart. That's the kind of person I'd want to grow old with and father my children and he better have the dance moves too.

22. Am convinced I sound like Mariah Carey when I sing.

23. I have the most eclectic group of friends... I cover all age groups. My oldest friend is 80 years plus and my youngest friend is 7 years. 

24. I sleep in the same bed space the entire night, the other side remains mostly untouched.

25. I don't like to confront. I will avoid it all costs. It's just too uncomfortable, I'd rather eat cheese.

26. I hate cheese.

27. If I like you, I automatically shorten your name. If you're already called 'A' I will call you /- 

28. My parents tell me they love me everyday.

29. I get a lot of free things which is great because I really like free things.

30. I watch telenovelas and I like them. I am still watching 'rebelde way'. Also Mia in rebelde way is Micheal Bublé's wife. Now you know.

31. I like short clothes, I am already short so I don't want to get lost in long clothes! It's hard out on these height streets.

32. I want to go to Senegal. 

33. I want to go to Monaco. 

34. Grasshoppers are the next best thing after sleep and ice cream.

35. I travel with my bible... Literal life. I panic without it. I might not even open it but it has to be there.

36. I dance in shops, as long as music is playing my legs will move. I'm mostly embarrassing.

37. I slapped a girl in primary 4 and my hand made a hand-stamp on her face. I also bit a girl's skin off in primary 5. I have since dealt with my anger issues as it was very unbecoming.

38. I like peculiar people.

39. I think friends is the best show on TV and there will be none like it ever! (In my books anyway)

40. I don't know how to tell funny stories but that's not stopped me.

41. I don't know how to ride a bicycle. Mostly afraid of falling. Am too old for scars. 

42. I like gifts, forget 'it's the thought that counts' no 'it's the gift that counts'.

43. I am a feminist. If I were to describe what kind of feminist I am, (as we have types) mine is between Jane Austen and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.

44. Chances are the first time you meet me, my hair will be in 'Maria' also known as pulled back in a pony tail. I am very lazy with hair and not creative at all.

45. I've accidentally hit a boda boda man. Before you get dramatic. He is very much alive. While I was still in shock, a gentleman asked the crowd not to overwhelm me as I was a young girl and clearly afraid, and he volunteered to drive me home but I wasn't that traumatised and therefore declined his generous offer. 

46. When I meet people who are trying to sell something to me in NYC, I speak in rutooro. Don't judge me, sometimes one has to do what one needs to do.

47. I will be going to the golden globes in January 2016. I'm still letting that sink in.

48. I am convinced that Meryl Streep is my godmother. 

49. I am convinced that Morgan Freeman is my godfather.

50. In our home, I have 'my spot' everyone knows that I've marked that territory. I am such a Sheldon.

OPEN HEART POLICY

Loving people isn't easy ya'll (somebody scream 'yaaaa sista') we are not easy to love at all. It is very challenging but I want to make love my love language. 

I want to love people till it exhausts me because I want to live a blessed life. I want to forgive so easily, I want to be steady, and I want people to feel comfortable around me. 

Sometimes we shall feel like people don't deserve our love, but do we deserve their love? What qualifies us and what disqualifies them? 

We search for the meaning of life blah blah blah but truth be told LOVE is the meaning of life that's why we have hearts. 

I am not afraid of being hurt anymore. I refuse to live my life in 'the fear of being hurt zone' because now I have experienced freedom and it is liberating. We all know what it feels like to be hurt and sometimes we are the people doing the hurting whether intentionally or unintentionally. It's part of life. That said, we have a choice to love through the hurt or to be bitter and burdened through life. 

Each morning wake up and be determined to be love, to love God, to love others, to love yourself, to love your life. Let love be the theme of your life and I promise you, your life will be a continuous unfolding of beautiful people, things and moments. What a magnificent way to live! 

How to live a blessed life

1. Love God 

2. Love others 

“You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought."

“You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink is the best meal you’ll ever eat."

“You’re blessed when you care. At the moment of being ‘care-full,’ you find yourselves cared for."

“You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world."

“You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family.”

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Matthew‬ ‭5:5-9‬ ‭MSG‬‬