LOVE + HEARTBREAKS = MORE LOVE?

How do I feel about HEARTBREAKS and LOVE??? I could write ten thousand books on this topic alone but due to the high priority I give to my law essays, I will try and write just a little.
I will write from a girl's perspective (these views are not universal).
Most great women we love and admire have a love story gone wrong and these great women are all the women in the world.


I think a heartbreak is a blessing in disguise. It gives you time to reinvent yourself and to fully understand your own mystery. Grieving time is there for a reason. It enables you to think about all the death threats you can issue, all the songs you can possibly write (bless Adele) and a grace period to look horrendous. Most people in our age group would rather die than profess their undying love/strong-like (call it whatever you want to call it) for each other. Is it shameful to love?Why is love associated with weakness?Is it because we are dying to be loved by a "special" person and because we are afraid of rejection we act all nonchalant and hardcore? There is no shame or regret in love and I think to love and to be loved in return is one of the nicest feelings ever and everyone should at least experience it in their life time. 
Of course with beautiful things comes grave risks.Yes, loving might be a mistake but it's worth making. Am not saying we should love stupidly like those Romeo and Juliet people but love sensibly like what is written in 1st Corinthians 13 . (My favourite Bible verse). 

"Love is patient; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope and patience never fail. Love is eternal. 


I am aware that love defies logic sometimes and we might go out of our way to do the most shameful things but I do not see anywhere in that chapter "love is death". WARNING *Do NOT follow the steps of these people Romeo and Juliet, Cleopatra and Mark Antony, Paolo and Francesca. They all died because of love.*
How does one deal with a love gone wrong? I do not know but the answer is not in a sword, poison or bad hair. No one writes a manual for brokenhearted people. I am not going to be of much use either but I have my "powerful" pep talk that gets me through harsh situations that make my heart crumble. 


My personal pep talk, 'As women, we feel everything to the core of our hearts. We are like vampires with heightened emotions except we do not have the "switch off" option. So feel bitter if you want, feel disappointed, be dramatic about it all...BUT do not lose 'you' in the process and allow to heal. There's more pain awaiting us on the other side at the age of 26 to 50 and it's called child birth and from the videos I have watched, that's got to be the most painful self inflicted experience ever! So a heartbreak is just a heartbreak, it might hurt for a while but it is bearable and time heals everything.' 


I understand that love and heartbreaks are designed differently for every individual, and coping methods differ but as my mother says, "there's no need to try so hard like your life depended on the other person's existence. Fall in love with yourself before you fall in love with someone else and when things go haywire, the love you have for yourself will be enough to get you moving"...she always ends with "If it's meant to be it's meant to be".


Love hurts and that's why people are so reluctant to get into it, digging invisible holes to hide their feelings as they approach and if you want to live like that, that's perfectly alright. You'll never fully experience loss or hurt because you've guarded your nonexistent "diamond mines" and maybe that's a good thing. Right? I say when you feel the love for someone let yourself feel, if the other person feels the same even better...it really shouldn't matter who says what, when and where because it is a personal experience. And when it hurts, and hurts real bad just remember that in the end you loved and open your heart for more possibilities of love and heartbreak.

...happiness wherever you go...

We owe it to God to be happy and we have to stop investing in other people to make us happy. They were not born to solely make you happy, even Britney knows that it's a lie (I was born to make you happy!). I think it's okay to be selfish with yourself. Why try to please someone over and over again like an "apple" commercial? I am a firm believer in trying to make things work such as friendships, electronics, machinery,marriage. e.t.c. I am a sucker for all sorts of "happy endings" but even I respect the rule "one must give up when their true happiness is compromised."  


People are just people and yes we shall disappoint each other. Sometimes it comes from a good place, sometimes it doesn't BUT it is okay to LET GO when you have had enough...It is okay to not be okay with a situation. Do not let some "empty" heart leave you bitter or feeling like you are not worth loving.
We make things so complicated by creating formulae, making all sorts of excuses yet it really is that simple. We don't have to please anyone if it's going to suffocate us and flat-line our joy and happiness.
You are awesome, and it's okay if no one acknowledges that because GOD does. 
Breathe a little and Lose yourself in happiness...

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." Oscar Wilde 

MY OLDIES PLAYLIST

Thought I'd start with something current before I dig up some oldies goldies..."Gorge" told me about Lana Del rey (who by the way has a very interesting face). I quickly listened to her music and I haven't stopped listening to "Born to die" if you've got some time to spare listen to her songs. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bag1gUxuU0g&ob=av2e

Now to my Oldies playlist

Kool and The gang's "celebration" and "get down on it" never fail to get me on my feet.

Madonna - Cherish...I want her body at 50 years. I think Madonna's one of the most talented people ever but her love for her potential "grandsons" is disturbing. 

Ralph Tresvant's hair cut in the video of "Sensitivity" can replace the many purposes of a knife in the kitchen. It's too sharp! 

Tamia the love of my life, every time I listen to "who do you tell" I just want to melt, she's got a milky-wave voice. I think she's so underrated!

Shola Ama sang one of my favourite all time songs "who's loving my baby". It reminds me of my mother and I when I was little and taking sunday trips to the beach. You gotta love the 90s.

My two favourite metal classics;

Ready for the world's "love you down" will literally make anyone blush...my goodness those instrumentals are too good. Now if you like greasy hair and have the sudden urge for "soul glow" as in "Coming to America" then this is the song for you.

New Edition...now this song "Can you stand the rain" I give 5 stars. The pants and hair blinded me because they have no place in 2012 but the harmony in this song is beautiful!

Michael Jackson, what's a playlist without the man with the golden glove? PYT...don't make me say it twice...PYT is the song, I literally do the moonwalk and snake all at once. If this song plays and you're next to me, stand so far away from me for death lurks around.

Eugene Wilde's "gotta get you home tonight" hmm...I don't know where to start and end with this song. But if you know it and love it, am sure we share the same sentiments.

Gregory Abbott - "shake you down"...that little scream or shrill he makes at the beginning?cannot miss it...He is not a shy man...he made that perfectly clear.

I could go on all day about the oldies, I feel like we aren't given value these days, too much plastic around (That's my opinion). But with music like this, I never have to sit through mediocre music.

 

OPEN LETTER

Time and time again we've been told to enjoy the simple things in life. Today, I can say that I successfully enjoyed Wednesday. I do not want to write down my routine but unfortunately I must because I am too happy. It was such a struggle getting out of bed this morning...no, I actually managed to wake up just to open my window and got back into bed. (I think I made some progress)


My friend and I went into town to meet a group regarding our class project. These are some of the most inspiring people I have been blessed to know. They are just like you and I, same value except they are impaired. Just talking to them and laughing was such a reminder of how gifted we are. We have not bribed God with our "goodness" to give us the life we have. We are so undeserving and ungrateful so many times but God still blesses us. Today I remembered to be grateful for the blessings in my life. I hope to find something everyday to remind me of how good I have it even when I feel like I have it worst.


I was able to laugh, mostly because I managed to make myself laugh by having mental conversations. I was surrounded by good people with beautiful hearts. I had long conversations with my friends on phone, chatting back and forth. I am having a relationship with my phone and it's a good relationship. (Wedding date TBC). I had lunch with my pockets. (Pockets is a nickname for a friend not my actual pockets), watched a movie with my candy, went to the store and got magazines for soulie and I (magazines are such a good distraction) and talked for hours to Amber. Yes, today I can safely say that I enjoyed the simple things in life, didn't lack and didn't need. I was just happy to be alive and blessed with the gift of a day!

Book Overload

I love to read interesting books. I find more life in books than life in my life. So when I go to a bookstore I don't like to leave empty handed. In fact, I have these amazing excuses that seem to work perfectly..."hmm...that's a nice book, I know who would like it...*inserts friend's name*" just like that,I buy it and that friend need not know about it. When I read a good book, I want everyone around me to read it, I like to believe I have very good taste in books (and music but that's for another day). 
Am not exactly selfish with my books, I enjoy sharing them but make no mistake, one dog ear on it's return and I will be back at the store getting a newer copy of the same book!
I have all these books sitting on my bedside table, and if they could talk, I am sure they would have insults lined up for me. Why buy them if am going to take only years to read them? Not reading them immediately doesn't stop me from getting more.
So it's almost time to go home, and I look at the pile of books my friends and I have accumulated over such a short period of time and my biggest worry is "I need to find a way to get my books home before I pack my phone charger". 
Books take me to a different place, they get me high up in the skies.

If you love to read, share your list of favourite books with me and maybe we can start our own little book club.

PRISONER OF HOPE

I saw a woman in pink today, dark hair with the bangs (just how we like it), she was a real beauty!The kind we would marvel at. She was facing her friend with tissue in her hands wiping at something on her face...I thought to myself, "it's probably sweat she's wiping off" but she didn't stop wiping her face. She was crying! (When she blew her nose, it gave her away) So I was distracted, I was looking at her instead of paying attention to "the process of going to the tribunal." What could have put tears in such a beautiful girl's eyes? What made her sit in a corner with her friend over a side of chips and "main course" of tears? Had I known her personally, I would have wanted to weep with her just because I can.

For the past few weeks, I have been quite bi-polar. One day I wake up and I am high on happiness, going steady and BOOM I am low as a Corolla car filled with ten people. How can we be so old and still have no clue how to control and balance our emotional tide? I mean, they are our emotions, right? It's not like we have borrowed them from someone else for them to be foreign and unmanageable! I find myself in a state of frequent dilemma, What should I eat? What should I wear? What should I say, and how do I say it?, Who should I please today? Who should I love? Who should I let go of? How should I study? What should I study? LPC? No no no maybe Postgraduate? Oh wait how about LDC? Should I workout today or not? Oh my life, my head is in constant spin mode. 
So do I cry? Do I refuse to wake up? No...I wake up and go...You have to go because life isn't going to stop for you to get it together. You have to wake up and go. I would love the option of having an empty bucket to cry into till it filled up, watch one of my favourite movies (Bridget Jones Diary) and assure myself that her life was a pile of mud and constant rain! And when all that is done, to enter my bed, put my head on my pink pillow and sleep, sleep till kingdom come.

But, we do not sit and cry instead we walk and cry because slowing down is not an option, We most definitely do not remain in our cosy, warm beds because greatness is not found in our mattresses and we ATTACK and CONQUER! Man or Woman you have to live, we must live, I have to live.
When you're sad and low, remember to be a prisoner of hope...that someday, one day, everything will be better. It is only temporarily dark and bright days are just a day a way. Everyone goes through hard times in life, everyone! And yet somehow we still come out on top because we have this will power in us to survive through "hurricanes".
We just have to live through today, that's all we have to do.