NECESSARY ENDINGS

 I remember that first Sunday of November listening intently to what my pastor at Elim church had to say, he went on and on about how excited he was to start a new chapter in the church on necessary endings. All right then, I adjusted myself and pulled out my notebook (because I like to be overly eager) and got ready or more than ready for this sermon. I have never really thought of the advantages associated with necessary endings, STOP, EXIT, PRUNNING (I’ve taken a sudden interest in horticulture), and anything else that demands immediate attention. I just associated endings with negativity… Death, sorrow, broken relationships, gnawing regrets…how is an “end” necessary?

 The good news is; we need to feel everything and these feelings are necessary for us to have the life God has planned for us, a life that is worth living, free of any holdbacks.

We are endowed with seasons, as they come, they pass too. Each season comes with its own contents, some good, some bad, and sometimes it’s a continuation of the previous season. We all jump at the prospects of fresh starts, of new babies, of new loves, of new jobs, of a new academic year, of January 1^st, and boy do we go all out on those New Year resolutions…but what happens when we drag our baggage into our new prospects? Into our chance at change…real change not Obama change…(am not trying be political) that’s an easy question to answer…we simply remain the same old, sad people with double dosages of pain, rage, insecurities and misery….

so what should we do? BREAK THE PATTERN!!!  Let’s not hold onto anything that takes, takes, and takes three times more on the weekend…that my friend goes into the trash can, friendships that are dodgy dropped into the recycle bin (till further notice), bad attitude into the “immediate attention bin”, horrible jobs and their horrible bosses into the incinerator. 

It’s because of our ignorance that we hold onto stuff that brings us pain and misery. we don’t know our self worth, we are insecure that no one will love us for who we are. We therefore think we cannot survive on our own and hence hold onto the things that destroy and consume our whole being….  all that doesn’t matter in the now for it all belongs in the past and we are letting go and choosing freedom so let’s sing-a-long to Claire Maguire’s “Freedom”.

We are not going to be afraid of pruning the old branches weighing us down, cutting down that tree obstructing our view; we are going to do the necessary endings.

There is so much to fill your life and spirit, so many wonderful, good things awaiting you if only you can get rid of the clutter…limitless opportunities await you in your new season. Get rid of the unnecessary old branches, throw out the rags, and delete unwanted numbers…it might be a little uncomfortable but it will come to pass…stand, stand in the word of God and you’ll never have to be insecure in this cold world we live in.

So let’s make a toast, “to the new year and all years after this, to letting go, to creating space for the new and beautifully unknown, to getting happier and light hearted, to finding ourselves, loving ourselves (flaws and all), to overcoming our “goliaths” and to strength of mountains, to freedom, to making the necessary endings and to fabulousity.

*cheers*

Today was one of those days where the day simply took pleasure in dragging on and on...I read one legal article for only what seemed like a thousand years...the clock was fast yet slow at the same time. all the while I was contemplating my existence, panel beating at my experiences,trying to make sense of things especially why trusts law is such a pain in the "what shall not be  mentioned". my friend and I had been exchanging messages on what would make the most painful yet dishonourable death and "hanging" was not a contender, it is the way for the cowards, we weren't gonna die a coward's death...maybe something more like eaten by wild animals. we only harboured such thoughts because we were afraid of what life had put in front of us to deal with. there's only much one can take in one day, and today I felt like I had lived ten lives in 24 hours and none of those lives were ideal. 
10pm, I can finally see the promise my bed tempts me with and I am gonna accept that promise. for a few hours I will close my eyes and be alright, I will dream of all the lovely people in my life, visit all the beautiful places i have ever imagined of (including "the garden of Eden"), eat ice-cream and cupcakes and when that alarm clock goes off...i will inhibit all thoughts of hammering my phone or drowning it in water, stretch my hand out to God and He will lead me through another day...I hope today is better,and if not...i'll go to bed later that night and hope for the next day to be better, and if not...for the next and the next until i see better days.
xxx

Angela's World: Inspired ( Marilyn Monroe)

Angela's World: Inspired ( Marilyn Monroe)

"my life is a peach not an orange"...God sees my life as a whole.
He wants to deal with the whole of me and not just segments.
I am not in control, He is...if I were, I'd be a complete mess.
I LOVE YOU GOD.

2012... I am learning the importance of drawing lines in my life... separating the good in me from the bad...the necessary from the unnecessary... happiness from sadness... "me" when am around others and "me" when I am all by myself... I am drawing a thick line that will keep everything on separate sides so that I can envisage my life from the centre.