My Bloggables

Before I wrote this post, I had planned to wear some red lipstick, mascara on my eye lashes and feel extremely feminine. Guess what? I am writing this post with nothing but chapped lips and naked eye lashes, and I still feel feminine. I have many bloggable scribbles on my notes app that I am gonna share with you today, and before I go on to write endlessly I want to know this; HOW ARE YOU TODAY? (answer to yourself) and I hope you are fine and happy:-)

Hashtag No new friends: Isn't it strange how we were all at some point just strangers to each other? (let that sink in). I have been seeing this everywhere, and it had me questioning myself why I wasn't part of the frenzy. I didn't even know what the whole 'no new friends' thing meant until google helped me out. Turns out Drake and his crew decided that they don't want new friends, or something along those lines (I had to use metro lyrics to help me understand why, and nope! I don't understand the message behind the song). If I tell myself that 'no new friends', I am certainly going to block awesome people who have the potential to bless me.
A few weeks back, I made a new friend, she is extremely lovely, inspiring, beautiful and if she were an outfit I would want to put her own. (I hope that doesn't sound creepy). Just last week, I met this person who I got along with effortlessly like we had been old friends in another life. After an hour and a half of nothing but abdominal laughter and hurting cheekbones, he had inspired me to be kind, graceful, generous and motivated me to go out and be smart about life. Yes, of course have your inner circle, but do not be so closed off...this is life and people are very volatile. Even those in your inner circle have the potential to do to you the unimaginable and those who could have made the cut to feature in your life might be your heroes. Excuse me Drake and the gang, I refuse to join the 'no new friends' movement.

Insanity: Oh My Life...I finally started the Insanity work out. I underestimated it because I like to consider myself physically fit. (I cannot say that with a straight face. I lie, I am very far from fit) So after the first 6 seconds of the Fit test, your girl was refraining from throwing up in the gym. I cheated my way through that work out and during the 'cool down' stretches my legs were shaking uncontrollably. Could Tanya be any more ambitious? (Chandler style) I wish she could take my body, work it out for me and then kindly return it to me ripped and toned! I am still debating whether I should continue this work out, my body is weak. Anyone out there doing it? I need more motivation.

Be the best version of yourself: I think there is something wrong with inordinately desiring someone else's life. This desire has the ability to bring out the worst in us. When we feel like we are not enough for us, we readily and quickly plot the downfall of others. Our actions are an outward expression of the state of our hearts. We have a habit of calling out each other on social networks (one of my followers (oomf) is a liar, oomf is a cheat, Face book status: I hate backstabbers, I hate villains, I dislike boring people. etc). Hi, excuse me but have you examined yourself? Do we not do half the things we accuse others of doing? No one wants to be around negative energy, it is so draining. Take this challenge and examine what character trait you dislike about yourself. Then, find ways to improve your character. We all have things we do or say that are not healthy for us but we can be better people.

Some things to do to be your best version.
1. Compliment people if you're one of those people who has absolutely nothing nice to say about anything or anyone.
2. Do something good to someone so underserving of your time (preferably someone who has betrayed your trust, someone who has caused you emotional pain)
3. Forgive it all, just forgive and let it go. When we don't forgive we are weighed down with bitterness, resentment, really though, 'ain't no body got time for that.' Choose FREEDOM
4. Let your actions speak louder than your words. I know we have the ability to slay a noble man but we also have the ability to defend a noble man.

You will be contagious...and sometimes the change process might take longer than expected but I promise you the results will be to live for! Change is possible and even when people align you with your past, it won't be for long. Remember, most people are positively inclined...be so good and make your impact permanent.

LIFE as RED

So... last month I asked you guys to send me inspiring stories and I received quite a few stories. A huge THANK YOU to everyone who sent one in. I chose the story you are about to read because it is very close to one of the causes I support. More than that, it is a story showing the fight to stay alive. How do you take a hold of your life when faced with something (an illness) you have no control over? I did some editing but I kept the story true to its source who shall not be revealed. I have been back and forth with this person on what gift to get them...let's just say we might have settled for a warm soda. See the thing about life is, it's not guaranteed. This is why I am always blogging about doing good, being good, living in technicolour, loving relentlessly and not being afraid among other things. This anon person has been there for his friend, given his time, given his heart to love his friend through this terrible infection we would never wish on anyone. For such a heart, I recognise him by sharing his story, and I thank him for trusting me, and letting me share this with you all.


The story of RED.




Red,  is a good friend of mine. At 15 years of age, he discovered that he was HIV positive the most disturbing way.  On his way to school, he passed by his doctor early morning to get a note to exempt him from swimming owing to a knee problem. The doctor wrote him the note and off he went. Before he reached school he decided to open it and it read: "Red, is HIV positive and is under my care." (Put yourself in his shoes. What would have been your reaction?)Anyhow, Red went on to finish high school and proceeded to university.

Fast forward 2011. Red, got sick really sick that he had to check into a hospital to get treatment. But after being admitted for 2 days on malaria drips, there was no sign of improvement. The doctor at the hospital is a good friend of mine and as I sat in his office he started telling me about the new developments in the fight against HIV/AIDS and all. I listened and started adding up the story. It was like he had a hidden message yet somehow I decrypted it. He told me that Red had HIV and needed more than what he was getting...He needed more treatment to keep him alive.

I want you to keep in mind that Red has been on ARV treatment right from primary school, and there is a downside to that. All that time he was taking the medicines, he had never been told what the drugs were really for, well not until the doctor’s note he read at 15. See, that's when he realised what was really going on although it must have been hard to understand. 

Back to 2011, I explained to Red why the doctor thought he was getting better with the treatment he had gotten over the past two days on the drips. He too had a great feeling about that particular treatment.

Red checked out of hospital and went to see his doctor. A well known HIV researcher with worldwide acclamation. The doctor ordered urgent blood tests to check his Viral Loads and CD4 counts plus a blood culture.  When the results came through, the doctor said that they were the most staggering numbers he had seen since 1991. He was admitted immediately and had some counselling done too. (well, get in his head.)

I did not know what to think of or do next. I had seen him in pain before and all this made me realise how the disease could take over your body, your whole being really. Before getting admitted he had been taking probably the most expensive painkillers and antibiotics out there. But you could see how uncomfortable he was. No sleeping, no appetites, weight loss, skin was loose…you name it. Basically this is where you say, S**T JUST GOT REAL! He had less than 2 months to live.

Here’s what happened. Red not knowing what drugs he was taking, wasn’t really serious on taking them appropriately. Every time he got asked whether he was taking the drugs, he said "yes" and it was believed. Even after discovering it at 15, he went on to have a “shady” way of taking the drug. You know how you have a cold and when you get the meds and prescription written 1x2 or 2x3 or whatever they write and then you go ahead and give yourself a time frame? Say for 5 days? And on the 3^rd day you feel better and decide to call the medicines off? That’s essentially what was going on. He had been given prescriptions but he thought to himself, 'you know what? why not take them today, and the next, skip some days and maybe take some the following week' he would even go months without taking his pills.

Red met with the counsellor who asked him to explain what was really going on. (You know shrink talk). The counsellor discovered  that Red was not the happiest guy out there. He had been angry for a long time and  by long time I mean from the time he made the discovery (at 15), he was angry at not being told, at how the truth was kept from him, who was/is to blame, what is next for him in life, was death around the corner? He was afraid, and he was angry that it was him, besides the drugs gave him some serious side effects.

He was admitted yet again and his drugs were changed to simpler ones with less side effects.

A month in the ward had gone by and he had a test to check his blood again. Progress!!!!!!!! I couldn’t have been any happier.

I asked the doctor, 'what's the worst that can happen to him?' He answered, 'death, but he has just cheated it.' I went in to see Red and he wasn’t really happy but after seeing progress with the treatment, he was starting to cheer up. Personally, I live by this statement, “The will to live is stronger than anything else”.

  

Fast forward 2013(YES, 2013!!!!!!!). Red did another check to see how much progress he had made. There was something wrong again. The number that had dipped almost 70% was growing again.

Once again, I was concerned so I went and asked the doctor what was REALLY going on. The doctor told me that Red was not taking his pills. I think Red is not to blame for that back tracking. Basically, essential information had been left out, he was not told: 1) why it is necessary to take the drug. 2) why should it be taken on time. 3) what are the consequences of failing to take the drug.

I too studied the numbers with the doctor and asked him what REALLY happens if he were to miss one dose? His answer just confirmed all my fears...there's only one way to end this story with HIV/AIDS. Yes, many people have gone on to live longer lives with the infection but also many people have gone before their time. 

The doctor understood that he was at fault for not laying everything out on the table.

Ironically, I read your blog asking for a story while I was seated at the hospital with him.

Well, long story cut short, we are not yet at the magic numbers, but with the WILL, we will hit the jackpot.

THE END. 

My thoughts

  

I know at some point we all have to leave the earth, but the only difference is, with HIV/AIDS you are more aware of what might end your life. I pray that Red will feel better soon and overcome the fears, I can't begin to imagine what he must be going through. Sometimes there are things that we will never understand this side of eternity. 

What inspires change in you?

Don't judge me or judge me if you so desire but when I was younger (not so long ago by the way), I was not proud to be from my country. I just did not see what was so amazing about my country. We had like what? One fido-dido, one bon-apetit restaurant and one cinema that looked like someone's living room. I on the other hand wanted the big things like Mcdonalds, disney world, endless ice-cream places and so much more. 

I just felt like I was in the wrong country, and when people thought me mixed race, or Indian I jumped a little...*yesss, I clearly don't belong here...so glad am not the only one who sees that.* Long story short I have come around over the years, I guess DSTV had a role in this. Give a girl limitless TV channels and she will calm down. 
For the longest time I remained lukewarm until my biggest breakthrough...I really am grateful to google. There I was, young and restless with irrelievable insomnia searching for ways to get more grounded in my roots. I found Keep a Child Alive, which led me to Alive Medical Services that later led me to the two doctors who have had such an immense impact on my life, and then I fell in love with being Ugandan.

How did these two people ignite this sense of national consciousness? I was moved beyond expression by how dedicated these doctors were to helping the community. They worked effortlessly for a cause they believed in, a cause that has such a positive impact on my country. They didn't do it for themselves alone but for the people and their country too. Being in constant communication and close proximity with them literally changed my outsight. It is not what my country can do for me but what I can do for my country. Now, with my cleared sight, I see many movers, shakers and changers doing everything they can to promote our country. We have got the artists, the writers, the speakers, the campaigners and the workers (among others) who are introducing new ideas and new ways to benefit us. 
I want to be part of this crew that effects the change. 

My country is different from what it was many years back, we might not be where we want to be, but we are somewhere between good and best and we are working to get to best. We need to get down, dirty and involved in our community for the good of everyone so that when the question is posed, 'why are you proud to be Ugandan?' I hope you will have an answer such as this, 'I am proud to be Ugandan because I have been part of the change.'

This one is for YOU

Playlist

Birdie- I'll never forget you...who am I kidding? Listen to the whole Birdie album

Ed Sheeran- kiss me

Kelly Clarkson- catch my breath

Swedish house mafia- don't you worry child

The wanted- Warzone

Sometimes I get my notepad to write something for you...I write for hours, only to read over what I have written and it doesn't make sense, habitually I start writing about something else but sometimes this too doesn't yield much. Days go by and there are no new posts and I start to feel terrible for neglecting you. Thing is, I don't want to write something I personally wouldn't enjoy reading, so when I write something and I am not having a good time with it, I don't post it. I have countless drafts stashed away because I find them 'dry' and missing my heart (if that makes sense), and then I have some drafts I would like to share but sometimes I think to self  'oh no! you wouldn't dare...that is too personal' so I hold back. The internet is a tricky thing, once something is published even deletion won't completely get rid of it. They are always retrievable if  you have a Zuckerberg on stand-by. 

I am not an impersonal person...When I care to know, you can't escape my gentle probing ways.  So I try to do the same with my blog, I want it to be personal to an understandable level. I share bits of me through my music, my aspirations, my thoughts and my beliefs but I do not know about you. Here I was seated in Starbucks sipping on my water pondering away and I had a 'light bulb' moment. I want to thank at least one person or two people who take their time to read my blog. I long to know each one of you personally although that is almost impossible.

Here's the plan, I want to gift one of you, (still brainstorming what exactly but I know the perfect give-away will come to me) my way of expressing gratitude (it could be anyone). The requirements are: if you have an inspiring story or done/doing something inspiring for someone else, tell me your story in an email. I promise to remain unbiased, and with your permission, I will share your story here on my blog, we can keep it anonymous or not. The gift will be posted or delivered in person depending on the distance, all these details shall be discussed at a later time. I would have loved to gift everyone of you but I am no Oprah but rest assured there's no good deed that goes unnoticed. :-)

I cannot wait to know more about you and good luck.

Ps. Please be honest about your stories.

My Thoughts

This week we shall start off with my playlist...

The game of love - Michelle Branch and Santana
When I was your man - Bruno Mars
MIRRORS - Justin Timberlake (my mental husband of 22 years)
Like the morning dew - Laura Mvula
Every time you go away - GloriaGaynor
Come away with me - Norah Jones

MY THOUGHTS...

Lately, well this week more than usual... I have had mostly sad thoughts. I have so many questions and no satisfying answers to put my poor brain to rest. See... my problem is simple, I get too deep into 'the what's not right in this world' and then I brood over that till kingdom come. 
Does it frighten me to be human? yes, it scares me a lot. We do not know what we are capable of. I know good things and bad things have to coexist, and call me naive but I really wish for a world free from war, hate, disease and famine. 
I am trying to enclose my mind around all the atrocities that have taken place in the past and the present one...(see my life?) Trying to find explanations to all the wars, I have taken time to educate myself and research about them and all these governments to get a logic explanation but no matter how much I want to believe its bigger than man...the answer is right in front of my eyes... man is the root cause of most evil. My discovery was not new or shocking, it is simple...we are selfish human beings, if it does not concern us then we cannot be bothered. We want power, we want to be esteemed, we want to be feared, we want to be the last one standing. We take and take more than we give, and yet somehow we expect to receive more like we are entitled to it. The people who have done the least to cause these horrid situations have suffered the most for them. 

I am not going to name countries, or peoples or governments because we all know of at least one or two countries or a group of people suffering, like that is their sole purpose on this earth...to suffer endlessly! It's like the world has written some peoples off...
What can we do? Us, the small beings only taking up 1% or less of the world's space? In my very unscholarly opinion, I believe in goodness...as much as we all have a dark spot, our good spot has the ability to drown out the dark....so be good, be good politicians, be good citizens, be good leaders wherever you have been placed in this life. Maybe, just maybe one person can start a trend that will leave some "actual earth" for our greatest grand children. I know things take time but who ever believed THEN that slavery, ethnic cleansing, racial segregation among others would be history? or Genocide, rape, child soldiering made international crimes? Someone was good enough to want better for the rest of human kind, whoever that person was, let's join him or her because the world needs good citizens... the world needs peace makers...the world needs YOU.

GeT PassIONate about IT.

I am fully capable of being a certified "Israelite" (refer to their contemptible manner under the leadership of Moses) and lately,  I have witnessed a significant drop in my levels of dissatisfaction. I am sort of proud of this grand achievement. Hopefully, I will do away with the remnants of the "art of complaining" sooner than expected. That is my positive achievement and yes, it feels good. 

So... I thought of sharing with you some random stuff that I have found to be very entertaining, encouraging, bits of wisdom or things I do that help me to focus and get me through the week without the need to painfully punch people, and if you've got any recommendations do feel free to share with. 

Bits of wisdom.
Church was amazing today, Pastor John Gray (google him) gave it to us hard, cold, honest and hilariously. His teaching point was "The measure of LOVE" and I love all things love so I was excited to hear him speak on this subject. I will just write down a few of the MANY things he said and hopefully you will mediate on his wise words. 
"How do you quantify love? How do you define love? Love is a lot different when you are in it than the romantic idea you have when you are outside of it! Love is subjective because it is personal BUT there's only one definition of love and that is GOD because love is the essence of His character. Love will force you to step away from the masses and chase after the one that matters, love celebrates, appreciates and elevates. Love is mercy, it extends, stretches and intends to do good. Love illuminates...it awakens you to the reality that you are NOT alone. Love is selfless, suspends disbelief about people" Re-examine your definition of love and identify what true love is measured by. Love is pure

Entertainment
If you have not watched "Life is but a dream" by Beyonce...I don't know why you're still here reading this!!! (No, keep reading then go watch it) Her hard work will leave you speechless. Whatever we want to pursue, let's pursue it ALL with such burning and fierce passion. Giving everything we do 100% of ourselves so that when we look back...we can all happily say "yes, that was me and I never slacked a day". On a side note, Blue Ivy undeniably looks like Jay-z. (That resemblance blew my mind!) I am literally bursting with inspiration after watching Bey. 

Phone-App
And the girl discovered "The free dictionary" by Farlex. This app is amazing because it has 'word of the day, quote of the day, this moment in history, puzzles..e.t.c" I am certain that in a months time, the Queen's language will slip off my tongue like I were born in Buckingham palace. I highly recommend this app.

Moment of the week
BATH TIME!!! I never thought I would live to see the day I got so excited about shower hour but the day came way quicker than I expected. Thursdays are my long bath-days, I have made it my duty to use all shower gels and soak for half an hour. I close my eyes and drown out the world and in that moment everything is still. The thought of Thursday bath-day gives me goosebumps! I recommend this for anyone who is fortunate enough to have long week days and sore feet. Soaking is the cheapest stress reliever! 

Ipod playlist: unnamed 
Beautiful surprise - Tamia
We don't have to take our clothes off - Jermaine Stewart
Waking up in Vegas - Katy Perry
Tiny Dancer -Elton John
Talk  you down - The script
I miss you - Beyonce

Encouragement
For those of us having hard days, and things are simply going everyone's way but yours, just remember that it is too soon to give up on anything. This too shall pass.

Verse 
"But in your hearts set Christ apart as holy (and acknowledge Him) as Lord. Always be ready to give a logical defence to anyone who asks you to account for the hope that is in you, but do it courteously and respectfully." 1 Peter 3:15 AMP

xxx

Don't let hatred dwell in your heart

When I like someone, I let it be known to them unknowingly. I will follow them on all present social networks and those yet to be created. (NO, it is not stalking otherwise everyone following anyone they have no personal relationship with would be a stalker!) I do this because they have ideas similar to mine or ideas that make me want to know them.There's an essence of individuality they possess and I admire such fine qualities.

I like people who are not afraid to be themselves, it takes a lot of nerve to be yourself in a world that demands you to be worldelf.(your-self<world-self). I like to tell my friends about people I like despite their acquaintance status. I think, if you are able to see, acknowledge and talk about the good in others, it speaks volumes about the kind of person you are. Now more than ever we need to aggressively lift one another up instead of finding ways to tear each other apart. 

Let's be supportive of one another, and see the good in others. Honest to goodness hating on someone because your best bud hates that person is very high school like. See, that is the problem with us, we take on battles that shouldn't be ours.  If it isn't your battle do not fight it. This doesn't mean I have no loyalty to my friends because I do, I just think that if you don't have to get involved in something that does not concern you then don't. Do this for your sake and stay out of it. We are all mature enough to strike balances.

Many times the worst picture is painted of us and those who are brave enough to investigate these unchartered waterways find the real truth. I know we need to be cautious because there are wolves in fine wool sheep skin but sometimes people are slanderers. Geez, if you like someone like them and if you do not then stay away from them. Things really should be that easy just use your heart, gut and mind before getting a second opinion.

I would follow Beyonce on twitter, instagram, Facebook, and if possible, I would sit outside the gate to her mansion and work free hours as a lawn maintenance specialist just because I think she's awesome, and if she were to have a problem with that, then she'd clearly not understand how awesome I am, and I would therefore ask her to please excuse me as I relentlessly continue to like her.