Why I should be your personal shopping buddy

The best compliment I ever did receive was '...your taste is excellent but too pricy' that was my 'mama we made it moment.' I don't consider myself a shopaholic; I honestly don't think I truly enjoy shopping for myself. I'm that girl who absolutely doesn't like trying on clothes in the dressing rooms, I'll take clothes home and if they don't fit, I just scream luuuuuulllllllzzzzz!

I don't like going shopping with other people to get stuff for myself simply because I set goals, a budget, a time frame and I am not flexible hence I would not want to put that version of myself on anyone else. She’s a beast!

But this one thing I do enjoy... Shopping with other people for their own stuff. I'm not going to wait for someone to tell me that I am an expert shopper buddy therefore, let me tell myself for you. I am an expert shopper buddy. I intend to make a profession out of it (adds said profession to my list of other well thought out professions).

I actually don't consider myself fashionable. My personal style is unexceptionable nonetheless I often get it right with other people.

I wrote down a few unbiased benefits of having me as a shopping buddy.

1. I won't make it about myself... It is all you, you, you. 

2. My patience is on a whole other level! When you go shopping, even with your ride or die friend, moods are going to change. 100% guaranteed or your money back. But you know who will constantly be in a good mood? Me! That means that your bad mood won't last long either, and this makes for an enjoyable experience.

3. I'll ask you to try new things, and you'll be pleasantly surprised.

4. I am good at squeezing discounts out of people. Tellers always have coupons. You just have to determine the kinder teller.

5. I have walked the streets of SoHo on both the hottest day and the coldest day. You know what that makes me? A SURVIVOR (cue Destiny’s Child). Count yourself blessed if you've never experienced the SoHo trek. You will need a few of us in your life who have survived and lived to tell the tale. That someone could be me. 

6. I remember seeing Macy bags as a child but I didn’t know who this Macy person was. I wanted to meet this great Macy person. Finally, I visited Macy’s in Texas. I thought it was great. Sometimes, I am impressionable (don’t judge me).

Years later, I went to Macy’s New York to get my eyebrows waxed at the brow bar. It was cold, and it was raining people. I was in so much shock! Why would anyone leave their house in freezing temperatures to go shopping? Or were they all having a bad brow day? Long story short, I don't like going to Macy's. I don't like shopping in heavy foot traffic areas but I would like my store to be located in a heavy foot traffic area (there’s a difference).

Whatever area screams tourist central I try to avoid shopping there. Here's why. I don't like crowds because shopping should be tranquil. One shouldn’t have to worry about an untimely heart condition while doing the thing one loves or hates.

I also don't like sale racks. Please understand my personal attitude and opinions do not reflect the attitude and opinion of my bank account. In fact my bank account doesn't support my mental Kardashian lifestyle. Of course my hope and vision is that one day my bank account will catch up with my mind's lifestyle.

I digress…

Due to my strong feelings against crowded shopping, I've managed to find affordable places in quiet neighbourhoods. Here dear shopper, you have the choice to take your time, no dressing room line, sometimes if you’re lucky, you might get offered a cup of coffee or tea or lemonade. Having me for a shopping buddy gets you benefits like noise free, hassle free shopping. 

7. I will never force you to take home something you're uncomfortable with. Remember it's always about you but also I won't let you give up until you find that perfect ‘I hope I run into my ex’ kinda outfit.

8. I have a gentle way of telling you that something doesn't look good without hurting your feelings. I think shopping buddies should always be honest, don’t let your buddy go home with a terrible outfit, of course the method one chooses to deliver the truth is très important. I'll use words like 'honey, how about we try the dress that accentuates your best features.' Forget what's trending; sometimes what's trendy just doesn't work. I once tried on those small denim booty shorts that go so low and I looked like an afternoon stripper called sugar cakes. I slapped myself for even getting that off the rack. So get something that looks so good on you that it automatically becomes fashionable.

9. Am sure you like nice things too. Right? I'm not always buying nice things for obvious reasons but sometimes a girl with a Chanel mind needs something that doesn't look like it came from China town. You can still look like $5000 on a $200 budget. And no I don't mean $200 on a white shirt, let’s not be cray yet! 

10. There's always food or dessert at the end of the shopping day to celebrate your shopping conquest. Who doesn't want dessert?

 I hope those reasons will make you choose me as your shopping buddy. I'm yet to discuss my rate but with all those benefits, it will be well worth it.