Open letter - 5th/6th November

Haven't written these in a while. 

Tomorrow or today is my birthday (Depending on when you read this). Usually I am so excited and eager for gifts I can barely get through the night. This year it's been different. 

In my family we pick our own gifts. We don't do much surprises because our characters demand that people better give us what we actually want not what they think we want. We make gift picking easy heh!? So when my mother demanded to know what I want this year, I surprised myself into shock by asking for nothing! NOTHING! Where is me and what have I done with me? If you know me am all about gifts. That's my love language, none of those 'act of service, words of affirmation, quality time'.

I still think it's strange that I don't want anything maybe I'll live to regret this choice.

Then there's the dinners. I love a good dinner. I love conversations and laughing and just being ridiculously greedy if am not paying. I just love when people get together and there's constant banter. On the birthdays where I have had to throw my own dinners (yes guys I throw my own dinners because I am Monica) I tell people to eat whatever they want mostly because it's not coming from my pocket.

This year that's different too. I don't want to do anything. I actually felt overwhelmed with all the dinners and lunches packed in one day that I cancelled them. I feel bad actually, terrible. Maybe this is menopause! It's got to be a menopausal reaction.

This is how I want to spend my birthday. 

I want to wake up at 11:00am, have tea in bed with warm scones (OF COURSE), go to the gym in preparation for cake eating fest! Shower, walk to the cinema and watch 'Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad day', go home and find 9 cakes waiting for me. Then go to bed. 

Although I was planning on having a selfish day by not wanting to be celebrated I know that I am loved. It makes me so happy to know that the people in my life near and far understand me, know that I am a pain and yet still love me. 

I am grateful to be chosen today and celebrated whether I want to or not. 

I am grateful to have people make plans months ahead, I am ever so undeserving. No false humility. 

I don't deserve the people in my life. They are so good to me and as much as this day should be mine, today I celebrate you because; 

you make my life sunnier

you tell the funniest stories

you give the best laughter

you're constant through good and bad

you give good love

I am honoured that I am part of your life stories, I am happy that you chose me to be a daughter, a friend, a sister, a confidant, a silly buddy, a sergeant, commander, a whoever you want me to be. I thank you for choosing me every time and, for celebrating me everyday. 

I have the best family, the best friends, the best acquaintances, the best job, the best life. I have all the gifts a girl could desire. They are not perfect but they are everything and today you get a public holiday, you get a public holiday, everybody gets a public holiday! I appreciate you.

Tomorrow we eat, we dance, we shut down Sugar Factory NYC.

X

Happy birthday to my SBFL Daphny, My FFFL Rachel, the ever so beautiful Elma, The ever so breathtakingly awesome Joan, My angel face Duch, My MOTHER, My Lisa, My BLFL Pamella, the ever kind Nina, My fave Julia