Today was one of those days where the day simply took pleasure in dragging on and on...I read one legal article for only what seemed like a thousand years...the clock was fast yet slow at the same time. all the while I was contemplating my existence, panel beating at my experiences,trying to make sense of things especially why trusts law is such a pain in the "what shall not be  mentioned". my friend and I had been exchanging messages on what would make the most painful yet dishonourable death and "hanging" was not a contender, it is the way for the cowards, we weren't gonna die a coward's death...maybe something more like eaten by wild animals. we only harboured such thoughts because we were afraid of what life had put in front of us to deal with. there's only much one can take in one day, and today I felt like I had lived ten lives in 24 hours and none of those lives were ideal. 
10pm, I can finally see the promise my bed tempts me with and I am gonna accept that promise. for a few hours I will close my eyes and be alright, I will dream of all the lovely people in my life, visit all the beautiful places i have ever imagined of (including "the garden of Eden"), eat ice-cream and cupcakes and when that alarm clock goes off...i will inhibit all thoughts of hammering my phone or drowning it in water, stretch my hand out to God and He will lead me through another day...I hope today is better,and if not...i'll go to bed later that night and hope for the next day to be better, and if not...for the next and the next until i see better days.
xxx