WELCOME TO ADULTHOOD: Us trying to get our lives together

Bills bills bills, who's gonna pay my telephone bills? Who's gonna pay my bills! (REMIX)

People of the world, you don't even understand how much I dislike 1st-14th of each month! Actually some of you get me, I see you boo. 

Dude...Verizon wireless! (selah, pause and think deeply on that). 

Dear verizon,I bless your full coverage network but HELLO I ain't your sugar mummy! How are you gonna charge a girl dash amount of money every month? Well...well...well, guess who's only using wifi now? Oh yeah I did that! BOOM.
Sincerely,
yours truly. (And that my friend is C-L-O-S-U-R-E)

Verizon aside, seriously my gym membership has been a total and complete waste!!! This right here is completely my fault and I take full responsibility. I guess aiming for hulk abs was way way out of my pocket and comfort zone. Next year I won't sign a contract! For heaven's sake I did contract law (which I hated) and yet it still surprises me how often I find myself in these disappointing entanglements? I shall extend grace to self and forgive self. 

Speaking of gym, am I the only person always getting picked on by instructors for not doing something right? There's got to be a small army of us picked on-ers out there. Anyway, the trick to overcome an instructor's unsolicited attention is simple. Listen attentively, this works or your money back. 

Whenever an instructor picks on me and uses his small microphone for the entire class to SEE me (like I wasn't struggling enough), I just look at someone else with this confused look that reads 'he better naht be talking to me coz my work out skills are on fleek...*taps weave*' try that out. You just have to take on another personality for such situations.

I shall not drift.

Growing up is a trap if you haven't figured that out yet. I miss the days I would spend half my money, (I lie), 3/4 of my money on frivolous purchases and an endless supply of Chinese take out! I love Chinese food, (am such a cliche) but I will naht go to China coz my home slice spoilt that experience for me. This is what you get when you live vicariously. 

Drifting drifting... 

Anyhow...

Now that I am over a certain age, *plays sad music and sings goodbye to childish ways* am planning Verizon, I'm speaking Verizon, I'm sleeping Verizon! How expensive is hair though? Am making a decision to go BOLD! *slap slap get it together* I take that back. 

As much as my sister and I sit down and laugh at my transition into adulthood, it has it's perks. Like absolutely owning who you are and not being ashamed of it, going to Duane reade and using your credit card to pay for a 99 cents plus tax item just to get cash back because of course that's what adults do.

Yes, being an adult makes me feel like you can't tell me nothing with the exception of passport control in any given country, I will listen, and I will listen good.  

Being an adult is so bawss (urban dictionary actually has a definition for that). You can live on less and you can live on more, you just make it work. Your life is not in order but you're doing it, you're not unsteady, you're taking steps, some mastered, some frightening, and mostly uncertain but you call the shots babe! 

What's even more comforting is that no one has it all figured out. We only know for certain what is now, and sometimes that is enough.

PART 2

For my mind friends

Dear friend,

I've been in such a good mood lately, can you tell? 

Here's one verse that I've been meditating on here and there and it's refocused my mind. What are you believing for that is totally hopeless in the natural? Keep believing even when it doesn't make any sense, it's okay to have people laugh at your dreams or your childish like belief, not everyone understands faith. But even when you don't know the hows and the whats and blah blah blah, keep the faith. Even when you feel unworthy, know that God's love won't be undone. Keep the faith. Some days are going to be bad, I know that, and faith will seem silly but I promise you, you won't regret it. 

Jeremiah 32:16-19 (The Message version) and it's so beautiful... 'Dear God, my master You created earth and sky by Your great power, by merely stretching out your arm! There is NOTHING You can't do. You're loyal in Your steadfast love...' That verse. Now go be awesome you little rebel you!

Your mind friend.

X

HIV AIDS...YES, IT'S STILL AN ISSUE

In 2010, I came in touch with people who have greatly influenced my life, my passions and how I see people. Alive Medical Services (AMS) challenged me, and pushed me to feel, to move but most importantly to act. Dr. Pasquine and her husband Dr. Adebiyi run AMS with compassion, kindness, love and patience. (I'm not even kidding, these guys are like rainbows)

I have one question I ask Dr. Pasquine every time I visit AMS, 'How do you do this?' The entire team has got some kind of special grace or gift to do what they do, because hours into the gate, I leave overwhelmed. The AMS team does such a phenomenal job, they love and take care of over 12,000 HIV positive clients. How life changing is that?!

To join efforts with AMS, they have launched their very first online fundraising campaign. (We have only 26 days left.) For most of you who were not able to attend our AMS fundraiser in 2010 but desired and still have the desire to be part of this great cause, this is your chance to literally give life.

The funds collected will help AMS maintain their high quality, comprehensive services. And did I mention AMS provides FREE food to its clients?

Please spread the word and share this link to make a donation. This is Africa vs AIDS, SPOILER ALERT....Africa is winning!
http://www.globalgiving.org/projects/comprehensive-hiv-treatment-for-12000-ugandans/

Truth of the matter is...

These past four weeks have been some of the most confusing days of my life. I’m talking about proper daytime TV worthy stuff (but then again I think my life is more interesting than it actually is).

Am I the only one who absolutely hates being confused?  I do not want to be Mary-Jane (if you watch ‘Being Mary-Jane’ you know what I am talking about. She’s one of the most confused people on TV. In my opinion.) I can hear my mother telling me ‘For God is not the author of confusion but of peace…’ (Side note: if you start something but do not feel at peace with it after a week or two, do re-evaluate)

Ever gone to bed feeling a certain way, and then you wake up feeling the extreme opposite of whatever you felt before you hit the bed? (No, this is not being bipolar) It just happens and there’s no one simple explanation what could have caused the change in feeling.

So you sit down, analyse the time lapse between events, evaluate, and draw graphs to try to make sense out of the madness. You fear you might catch a serious case of the King Leah (O, that way madness lies; let me shun that). Looking back at everything you have done to cause this state. In those flashbacks, you realise the very first moment you should have re-evaluated, the moment you could have nipped it in the bud, the moments you compromised your truth and let the fear of not being enough take over. You chose the known, the easier option over the unknown. In those moments it made sense, you could even justify it. (I want you to know that there’s nothing wrong with that, because now you know)

Slowly unravelling the madness, it dawns on you that this entire state of confusion was solely your own making. You fought so hard and yet you lost even harder. You ask yourself over and over and over and over ‘what was it all for?’ You could have easily avoided it all but you were blinded by the illusion of endless possibilities one compromise could yield but now you find yourself feeling depleted.

Have you found yourself in that place? You’re not sad, you’re not depressed, you’re simply meh and bleh (definition: a place between slightly unhappy and slightly happy). Going to bed feeling exhausted more from your own thoughts than the hard work of the day. You recognise bits of yourself but not all of you even when you are asleep, ‘you’re awake as a rumour of war.’ Do not compromise your truth; stand in it even when it seems difficult. The reward is better than the fleeting moment of triumph.

Bringing this back to myself, after my few weeks of camping in meh and bleh land making simple prayers, contemplating and assessing my own truth, God sent me someone unexpected, a Jewish stranger.

This gentleman indulged me in conversation; my job requires that I take the client as they are. So, I fully participated in this mid-afternoon convo like we were old friends. Halfway this intellectually stimulating convo, things got real, like REAL and he told me exactly what I unconsciously needed to remember about myself. (By the way, who does not love intellectually stimulating convos? the kind that balance wit, intellect and spirituality? They are to live for!)

Sometimes we forget who we are, who we deserve to have in our lives, we get so used to our parents’ praise or forget what God has said about us. Those times God sends you a Jewish gentleman to reawaken you to who you are and to your purpose. I am not able to disclose his message here, but the encounter closed the door of my meh and bleh days and pushed me back to myself and it feels so good to be at peace with everything that I have been trying to fix, and to make sense of.

You will find this peace after you KNOW where you’re stuck, admit it to yourself, take responsibility, and forgive yourself and MOVE FORWARD. Do not let the past define you, do not let people’s lack of seeing you for who you are define you, do not conform to what will make someone else comfortable because you will lose yourself in the process. Stay the path and stand in your truth.

Can I just encourage someone camping in the meh and bleh place, it is going to be fine. This is just one of those times when you have to find clarity out of the confusion and you will, keep at it and find your truth. It will literally set you free again. So “run mad as often as you choose; but do not faint”.

You may not get the Jewish man experience but take this from me. You may not have got things right but you have a story, and an experience to up your growth. You’re still lovely, you’re still beautiful, you’re loved, you’re worthy and you are part of everything that is right with this world. You are good!

In the meantime something unrelated to the above, I am reading Life is _______ by Judah Smith. I love books that challenge me to love more; love requires one to be selfless. I need to be reminded that way too often otherwise I get back to me, me, me. Honestly, with everything that is going on in this world, earthquakes, race issues, religious issues, wars of all kinds, gender issues, poverty, famine. The list as we all know is inexhaustible.

Be a nice human. Be compassionate. Be kind. Be love. Be forgiveness. Have a sense of humour. A lot of unhappiness and suffering could be cut back if we took our eyes off ourselves and looked at others.
 

“The opposite of love isn’t hate; it is selfishness.”

 

40 Days Over 40 Smiles Foundation

There's nothing that I love more than young people seeing a need and filling the gap. There's so much to know about 40 Days Over 40 Smiles Foundation and I think this organization is doing a phenomenal job. 

I love that the founder of this organization is a young woman, Esther Kalenzi. Again, this is just another example of why educating both girls and boys is so crucial to our societies. 

I have never met Esther, but I signed up for 40-40 newsletter last year and I find her work very inspiring. This is a girl who had a dream, and she went for it. 

I'm sure she faced some challenges 'but anyone who’s achieved anything in life knows that challenges and failures are necessary components of success. They know that when things get hard, that’s not always a sign that you’re doing some thing wrong, that’s often a sign that you’re doing something right. Those hard times are what shape you into the person you’re meant to be.'

Esther has shown us that we can be part of the change in our communities, take up small resources, mobilize people and get the work done. I can't begin to imagine how many orphans' lives this organization has transformed, having a home to call their own and knowing that someone believes in them and loves them to give them a second chance at life. 

We applaud you 40-40 for dreaming, believing and being the change in our country. 
To get involved and support this organization please visit their website for everything 40-40, what they do and how they do it. Be part of the change.

NEW YORK CITY - A DAY WITH ME

'I can't with any good conscience argue for New York with anyone. It's like calcutta. But I love the city in an emotional, irrational way,like loving your mother or your father even though they're a drunk or a thief. I've loved the city my whole life—to me, it's like a great woman.' Woody Allen

I wish you'd been here today to spend the day with me. It is what we'd call a perfect day of 'nonents'. 'If Taylor swift can live in New York', just think of what we could do!

I woke up 45 minutes later after my alarm clock had gone off. Was it deliberate? We both know the answer to that, so let's not commit to the truth.

You know how having a life in New York is often portrayed as glamorous, pearls and fur coats? Well it is and it's not but knowing you, that's something that would be totally disinteresting. I know you'd only love this city because I do, the same way you love F.R.I.E.N.D.S because I do. Wait, am not sure if you love friends or just tolerate it for my sake. All I'm saying is had you been here, you'd tolerate the city at first for my sake and then you'd ashamedly fall in love with it. 

Lexington - 60th street

Well if you must know, today I lived quite the no-sex and the city kind of life. It had been the longest time since I stepped into a store. Remember that one time you got angry at me for harassing you into a dress? I'm sure you'd have supported my irrationality today. We've already established that my account is somewhat bipolar. I found these jeans and although am prone to exaggeration, they were to live for! Of course they didn't have my size! How many 28s are there in this city?

So I talked to my body to squeeze into them, and they fit but I can't say for sure if that zipper or button will stay intact. Either way, mama Joyce says we should eat the cookie and buy the shoe. So I took the jeans home with me. Hashtag I got a bae-jean. I'm sure I'm going to regret it sometime after I go to coldstone creamery but we are worth it. I miss saying that to you every time you needed an excuse to indulge just a little.

You- should I get this fourth pair of brown shoes that looks exactly like the other three I own 

Me- yes, you are with it.

Midtown - 42nd street

Here's the thing am not sure if you'd like Broadway and theatre as much as I do. I know you like lion king and moulin rouge but aside from those two, am not sure how you'd care for such. 

I know you'd be judging me for spending my day like I was at Disney. Why are people at the mall at 11am? We always found it strange for non school going adults to be at the mall so early in the day. Am not sure that concept has ever settled well with us.

Well today I mentally transformed into Blair Waldorf. I found refreshments at the theatre and the best part was that they were free. I didn't hesitate in my step and went straight for them. Turns out, those refreshments were meant to be served at the end of the shows. I think I should have been embarrassed but I wasn't because once I went for the cookies, everybody rushed behind me. They were all famished. I felt like Martin Luther king (not to take anything from him) but I led the cookie movement. (Great I have already forgotten about those small fitting jeans)

I love theatre, love love love theatre. It takes me away. For that moment I'm in a different place-mentally, maybe I understand actors more now. Sometimes people would rather live in make belief, take on another character once the other becomes relatable. I don't know, it's only a thought. I do like my life though, it is a great life and of course Emma Watson will act as me in my life movie. She will need a lot of NC 50 powder.

30W Broadway

This place reminds me of Luwum street so when I hesitate to go with you on your errands it's because I know how it feels to be stepped on, and to keep looking over your shoulder. This street requires strength, but the thing about New York, it gives you strength for anything. You should have seen the size of the carry bags I had to carry. It almost looked animated. Two big black bags weighing me down. You'd be so proud to know that I refuse to take taxis unless I'm in 6-ft high heels. I know how much you despise frivolous spending. There I was with three bags in arm, sweating like a world champ wrestler, the only thing glamorous being my pink nail polish and the scent of my perfume. 

2666 Broadway - Upper West Side

That's the thing about NY, it's two worlds in one. It demands two things.

1. WORK

2. LIVE 

I know you would have liked today a lot. Maybe when you do come, we can have our ,you and I take over New York City.,

Open letter: The Need To Declutter

I have received such positive views with the open letters, so I thought I would write one tonight. I apologize for being MIA in February. I actually didn't notice that I had not written at all that month. Well, I guess this post sure is a sign that I need to unplug and reprioritize. 

Open letter

Oh My Life, can you believe it’s March? How long was February though? What was going on with that? I am so excited that we are springing forward this weekend. I come alive in Springtime! Two words to describe winter – Positively Exhausting!

Ever feel like you’ve neglected yourself? Your room is a mess, you haven’t had regular breakfast in a while, your clothes are horrible (I mean I actually wore a rose colored skirt, pantyhose, knee high socks and wait for it...UGGS), and the only thing you have together is your sleep schedule? You too?  Glad I am not the only one. I have neglected myself these past two months and I want to rectify that this month. 

I have made up my mind to disconnect. I know we live in a rapid, instant world and we need our apps and emails and tweets, but I need this for myself. I need to breathe. I am begging me for it.

I need to be present.  I need to remember things. I need to put myself in order. I need to declutter. I need to be on top of stuff not underneath it. I need to veet my legs!!!

If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed and you think this is something that might help you out but you don’t know what to do, well I have a few ideas of what I’m going to do, feel free to get ideas from these.

The first step is to find a day or days that work for you and then DO IT. Just unplug for a while. With all the constant demand for an instant reaction, it gives things false urgency. Like if you do not respond to a text, the world is going to crumble. I have found myself in that position, where I’m like ‘what took you so long to reply my texts? You literally read it two minutes after I sent it and you’re responding after 5 minutes. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?’ I need this, I need to unplug before I become a needy hen.

Activities for my unplug time.

I’m going to take longer baths; my bathroom faces Manhattan, at night the lights come on, and the skyline is reflected on the Hudson River.  It is literary the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.  I’ll be having more of those soaks while listening to some Billy Paul.

What else will I do? I’m going to eat ice cream. I have been in a steady relationship with ice cream for 20 something years. I need to rekindle that and keep things spiced up. I bless the parents of the minds behind whole foods. 'I thank you for giving birth to such brilliant minds.' I could never express eloquently what their ice cream has done for my life. Oh wow, things suddenly just got deep.

Clean my room, yes that should have been first on my list of to do things. I know that once I actually get all the clothes to their right place, all will fall in order. I will even put some fresh flowers to set the room mood and atmosphere. I have this vintage looking vase that I bought for one dollar in the $0.99 store and it has been begging me to put it to good use. You’ll be amazed at what you can find in that store. I think they actually sell cats too (That's false). This vase is unbreakable. Well worth my hard earned monies.

Send out those birthday mails from last year. I am that person who sends gifts five months after the day of the birthday. I am not sure why I take so long, when the post is literally across the road from my home. Also known as ‘see…the way my account is set up’

Take out my braids that have been borderline nightmare-ish. I actually regret having them, because I didn’t take as many selfies as I had expected (because that’s what you do when you get braids). They just made my head heavy for no good reason. Between my braids and NJ-NY public transportation, am not sure which one I dislike more. It is a very stiff competition.

I hope to reprioritise where necessary, be more organised, and balanced from that time off. I think it’s going to be really quiet but rewarding. I can hardly wait to start. 

Miscellaneous

'Women need to hear from other women'. I am all about supporting women and girls to achieve their dreams and help others on their way up. I would like to thank WomenWerk for recognizing, creating a platform and promoting women led businesses. 

This Sunday is International Women’s Day and Eve and Nico Crafts and Home Décor will be at New York University, Global Centre, 238 Thompson Street, New York, NY 10012.

I have also been tirelessly working on this amazing website www.eveandnico.com do check it out.

Pinterest: @handmadeDecorNY

Instagram: @eveandniconyc

Twitter: @EveandNicoNYC

Facebook: Eve and Nico Crafts and Home Décor

The topic we are afraid of: Salvation

Salvation 

I have thought about writing on this for such a long time but every time I started out, I couldn't do it. Maybe I wasn't ready for it. So if this post is up, then I am ready for it. 

The road to salvation aka the road to getting saved

The struggle is so real on that road yo! Hand to heaven I got saved every year like six times! Each of those many times I had no idea what I was doing. Truth be told, I just thought this whole salvation thing is about dos and don'ts hence the countless times I responded to the altar call every Sunday. I got re-saved countless times because I just couldn't do anything right!

Mystery solved, salvation isn't about a list of things to do that will get you to heaven on angel wings and it's not about a list of things not to do that will give you a first class ticket to hell seated next to the person you think isn't going make it to heaven!

2012: The year things changed

In boarding school when we had preachers come over and rehash the details of the day of their salvation, I always thought it was all made up because it didn't make sense to me how someone could remember such fine details from the day, the outfit to the people who had been there. I thought it was too rehearsed.

Lo and behold, Saturday, sisterhood conference, O2 Arena! Don't remember the month. That was my day. The most significant and most important decision I have ever made in my life, and oh how my life changed dramatically! 

The dos and the don'ts

So for the longest time I was helping God save me. ‘Here here God, I am so bad so I'm going to help you help me by saving myself…so you can meet me half way. Yeah? I'm going to be so good, so good that when I walk people can smell my goodness from miles away!’ (Like yeah, I did that! I just got me good for God.) See, some people have made it so hard for us to access the Grace of God because they have made us to believe that we have to earn salvation.

Salvation is a FREE gift! It is given to us, we do not do things to get it and certainly we do not do things to lose it. It is a free gift! 

Jesus says come as you are. He does not say, ‘come after you have stopped stealing, come after you have stopped using bad language, come after you have stopped doing that and that *insert anything here* He only asks to come as you are...faults and flaws. For the longest time that baffled my mind! I mean I was not a saint! He wanted me, and I was not a saint. He knew what I was capable of and yet He still wanted me. Isn’t that the greatest love story ever?

After failing to help God save me, I decided to pray everyday to be changed. It didn’t happen instantly, and I would go do the same things I did before but the difference is, this time round I actually had convictions.

The way God works, He starts from the inside out. My outside was a total mess, but my inside was changing. I could feel it; eventually it started to show on the outside too. Sometimes I wasn't even trying to change, I would just lose interest, other times effort was required from me, but most times it was divine intervention. The ‘how and what to do’ that comes to you, where God requires you to put the work, you will know. He will find a way of letting you know, and then He will equip you to do exactly what you are meant to do. He just doesn't leave us out there in the freezing rain screaming ‘rain harder on them…that outta teach them a lesson.’ He is not cruel.

Most people are so afraid that this whole salvation thing just limits their freedom but that is so far from the truth! There's nothing more liberating and more freeing than salvation! F'REAL doe! 

Oh you're so boring 

I am not ashamed to say that I was honestly afraid of what people would think. They would find me sinfully boring! I mean...I had been called unspontaneous before and my faith was very questionable at the time.

I highly recommend spending time by yourself. You will discover the depth and width of you. I got so used to being by myself, that I had no option but to be friends with me. I got to know me, I liked me and found myself interesting. If God found me interesting, and I found me interesting then I had no fear of being boring to anyone. You will find that when you accept who you are, people will be drawn to you. They will be drawn to you because you're stable, and you are true to who you have decided to be. Knowing what you don't like, and what you like does not make you uninteresting, I like tea... I'll have tea in a disco at any given time, not because I have something against alcohol but it's just not my cuppa tea! Hashtag THUG LIFE.

I will gladly associate with people who aren't of my faith and not because I have FOMO. We are called to love all and serve all.

Yes, being saved doesn't make you dull. We watch TV like normal people, we love to shop, (We actually pray for sales, we love sales), we go out to dinners, we laugh out loud, we are always high on happiness (most times anyway), we wear high heels and dresses, we dance, we pray (yes praying is fun), we even have church jokes like church peeps be like... or single girls be like… or pastors be like… the bible has some pretty hilarious stories. It is also perfectly okay if you don't understand the book of Leviticus, no one does. 

Life in the saved lane 

We are humans not Angels and therefore we get tempted daily. Personally am not about condemning people, and making them feel horrible when they do something wrong. I sin, we all sin. There’s no such thing as a perfect human being. It's only by the grace of God that we are forgiven. That's why it's called the scandal of grace because it is unfathomable. Pharisee like people would never understand grace, but that's not your problem. 

If you understand grace, you will know that Grace isn't a free pass/free license to sin as we desire. We don't plead the grace of God as an excuse to sin. When we understand Grace, and when we understand how underserving and unworthy we are, we get this divine desire to be like Jesus. What does that mean? That we love people, we forgive quickly, we extend mercy, we are humble, we serve others, we know when we sin, we ask to be forgiven without pride, we seek to understand others, we are not selfish. In short, we love God and we love people and we all know that when we truly love people we think twice before we deliberately hurt them. Grace does that.

Being saved isn't complicated, of course each one of us will be convicted differently but when you make that decision to be a follower of Jesus, this remains true, ‘nothing can separate you from the Love of God.’ 

Church and people

I think it is important to find a good church, one that you're comfortable in because we were created to do this life together. A cord of three stands cannot easily be broken. I love both my churches Watoto and Hillsong NYC and not because they sing nice songs and wear ripped jeans but because both churches have shown me the heart of Jesus. You just need to look around you, and if the people around you are embracing, crying together, praying together, believing in your dreams then you are in the right place. 

I remember the first time standing next to my best friend as she put her hand up in worship, I did not understand it! I was actually embarrassed for her. As if that wasn't enough, she got baptised as an ADULT! Guys I may have actually thought that she had joined some sort of cult! I simply didn't understand it. I was just thinking to myself, this one is going to go vegan next at this rate! What I loved the most, is she didn't force me to go be drenched in water, she didn't force me to put my hand up in worship, she just moved with such grace that I admired so much whatever she had going on.

When I responded to the altar call, for the longest time, I still couldn't put my hand up. Yes, I still felt embarrassed for everyone who did, it just looked painfully awkward. I was utterly uninterested in hand-raising until that one day my hand went up, and I couldn't bring it down no matter how much I willed it to come down. That was an act of surrender, total abandonment, that I am totally nothing without Jesus, that He has done more than I could or would ever deserve, that I was worshipping my creator and it didn't matter who saw me raise my hand. In that moment I understood why my best friend would literally enter church with her hands already raised. Now my hands can't come down, if we ever find ourselves in a tighter space, let it be known that things will get out of hand, some will be bruised, and others will have dark circles around their eyes. The need for space is mad real. 

When I got baptized (yes people as an ADULT) I had finally understood it for myself, it wasn't a cult. It signified the passing of the old me, and the birth of the new me.

It is so important to surround yourself with people who build you. My best friend did that for me, without pushing me or forcing me to. She just lived it out. Had she been a leader of a small gang of thieves, I would have been the second in command of the gang today. Whoever you CHOOSE to surround yourself with, will most certainly have influence on you. Find awesome people to do life with, you don't need many. And when you do, live the best life ever! 

Take heart

I know this side of eternity is all shades of confusing, and sometimes you just find yourself living days filled with madness. Sometimes you feel like you can’t catch a break BUT take heart... 'The fight you’re in has already been won.'