A Day In the Life

There's something about Esther Houston. I love that she continually inspires me not to settle for less even when it seems like there are no other options. Patience and persistence have proved that, there are ALWAYS best options if we power through for a little longer. Check out this amazing blog misswhoo

I am okay being seen with you

My summer Playlist

Changes - Faul & Wad ad vs. Pnau

I got you - Duke Dumont ft. Jax Jones

All of you - Peter Thomas ft. Betty Who

Lights out - Santigold

Summer- Calvin Harris

Break free - Ariana Grande ft Zedd

I will never let you down - Rita Ora

A thought occurred to me that I had a blog which I may or may not have neglected. Thought I would share with you five or six things I have learnt, and still trying to master. I have more but my fingers got sort of tired half way, so I settled for these.

1. Correspondence with people you actually know aka buddy-buddy; Respond to messages, emails and return calls. It doesn't have to be right away but whenever you do get the time, make it a point to respond. You are not that important to fail to respond to a message.

For purposes of clarity, definition of important is 'on the scale of states presidents to The Middle East.'

2.Worth-Ometer; If it is worth it, you will make an effort. This trickles down to everything from relationships to your job to how much time you put aside for sleep.

3.Work that body body; Exercise people...I know it's 20% exercise and 80% diet. I do not like veggies at all. I actually fall sick for like three hours after eating salad. So I have found something that works for me. Eat junk in reasonable amounts and exercise like hercules...okay, yeah that's not true. I exercise moderately. 

I haven't been to the gym much this summer, because summer is perfect for runs. I run twice or thrice a week and my hair dictates my swim schedule.

Find something that works for you and do it, it's not about having the perfect body, it's about taking care of yourself. Your 80 year old self will thank you.

4. Heart Condition; Have the biggest heart (metaphorically) and the deepest love. Take people as you find them and do not leave them bitter. Leave them with something to smile about whenever they think of you.

5. Battle ground; Pick your battles wisely and do not make enemies. Just because you're someone's enemy, it doesn't automatically make them yours, you know? Be a peace maker, and it doesn't mean that you're a doormat or coward. It simply means that you are smart enough to know when  to step back when something so small is bound to escalate into breaking news.

6. Always others when it's their turn aka knowing when you're not queen B; Celebrate when others  are happy, and comfort when others are sad. Feel for people and feel with people. Give of your life experiences. We are all going through somewhat similar life "things"(for lack of a better word). We have all made stupid mistakes, so share your mistake with someone who has made a decision against their better judgement. Do not leave your friends to feel hopeless when you have been down that road several times too. We have all felt loss, so console even when they block you out, keep pushing. No one wants to be alone. Sometimes we push people away because we fear that they won't stay so we would rather have them gone immediately than later. So stick it out. 

Celebrate and honour the people who always show up. 

Ps. I hope you're all doing well, doing you, keeping it negative free energy and just flourishing.

All my love,

Me

Know that YOU are known

This message from my spiritual aunt Christine Caine could not have come at a better time. I have desperately wanted everyone to get on board with Warrior Women, the funds we have collected so far are alarmingly low yet the work we have to do is a lot. So here I was almost second guessing this vision, why aren't people excited about this as I am? why aren't my friends blasting up social media every second with the cause? (YET I have the most amazing, devoted, selfless friends in the universe) *get thee behind me lucifer*, and then this morning I was reminded whose applause matters.

I thought I would share with you this brilliant message from Coffee with Chris Caine.

It is so important that you know that you're known by God because if you do not know that you're known by God, you're going to be really trying to be known by humans.

Our insecurities stem from not knowing that we are His beloved, that we are known by Him. The desire to be known out there comes from not knowing that He knows you.

"The more known and beloved I feel by God, the less I need to get that from humans." We are all created by God with an inbuilt need to be known by God.

'Sometimes we tweet nice little sayings such as I only live for the appraisal of One, and I think sometimes God will make sure that He silences the applause and appraisal of everyone and He will ask something like, 'I AM still clapping, does it matter to you?'

God sometimes puts a divine silence on us and He asks, are you still going to be faithful to me even if you do not hear from humans? Will you continue to do it because I am giving you a Holy nod and I AM telling you that it's okay? See, if we lose the ability to hear His voice, then we are of no value to Him in the places He has called us to occupy. We have got to have the ability to say 'yes' to God even if it's 'no' to humans.

'There are seasons when God will have to take you away, where you are unapplauded, uninvited, unappreciated, unwanted, unrecognized because how you act when you don't have it all will determine whether you will continue to give Him praise when you do have it all.

A stranger a day keeps the boredom away...

So there is this thing where complete strangers come to talk to other strangers especially on the subway or as you wait for the train (OR also known as story of my life). No, they are NOT asking for directions. See...at first, it's almost complimentary, to be thought of approachable, really outgoing and sociable. 

Initially I was excited that my attention should be so highly demanded. After further review of all my encounters with these Well Meaning Talking Strangers(WMTS), I have come to realise that most of them are not quite 100%(and if you live in NYC, you'll agree with me that we do have quite the not so 100% bunch). 

Lately I have had a number of these WMTS walk up to me and ask me out to dinner or to death (thanks to the paranoia purely created by movies and DAILY news). Also we now know the kind I attract heh! (This is meant to be funny) 

Moving on...today, on my way from Brooklyn, (I really shouldn't be surprised anymore by what happens on the BK to and fro train), on a really crowded Q train, I stood in front of a young gentleman. 

I would like to believe that he did see my HEAVY handbag weighing me down, and although it's not his fault that I carry heavy handbags, I thought that by some chance he would hear the whispers of some chivalry gods to stand up and offer me his seat. (Yes yes, I am all for gender equality but when am tired and carrying a heavy bag I wouldn't mind being offered a seat so that I can think about women empowerment!)

Anywho, as the train approached his stop, he pretended to wake up from the nap he wasn't having, and decided to hold a conversation with me. I do consider myself very polite so I wasn't going to ignore this whispering stranger despite his borderline alarming behavior (I had a heavy bag, allow me to milk this).

So after reading my non USA Vibe (how? I don't know either), he leaned in and whispered to me, 'You look young, how old are you?'This question was followed by the usual, 'where are you from?' question. 

With the comfort that politeness brings, he went on to tell me how much he absolutely dislikes his life in NYC, how he is only here to study and how he desperately longs to go back to his island state. He tried to get me to hate on my favorite city but unfortunately for him, I did not share in his frustrations.  

After his frustrations were made known to me and a few other passengers, (now that he was quite audible), he followed by asking me out to dinner. 

I must say courage is a thing well mastered by this group of WMTS, rejection is something foreign to them like the geographical location of my country. 

I declined his invitation politely. Well...he took it with surprise like it was such a shock to be rejected especially given how chivalrous he wasn't and how he misused my African hospitality by holding a conversation that solely promoted his frustration with life. I bet he is agreeable on a normal day, although there's no such thing as a normal day in NYC. 

Warrior Women 2/2

‘Worldwide, girls constitute over half of the children out of school. Only 30 percent of all girls are enrolled in secondary school. In many countries, less than one third of university students are women. The average sub-Saharan African girl from a low-income, rural household gets less than two years of schooling and never learns to read and write, to add and subtract, as opposed to the average sub-Saharan African boy who fully completes primary education.’ (Day of the Girl)


Project start up has got to be one of the hardest, most discouraging stages in life. Putting that idea into reality is tough, heh? What keeps you going? What keeps you motivated? What keeps you dreaming and believing? Find that thing that motivates you when you feel like you're not seeing the results you desire and press on till you see it all.

So after what has seemed forever (1 month = 10 Evelyn years), I can finally share more information about warrior women. I am truly excited because this past month has led to people and places and opportunities I can't even begin to explain coherently. I have found such amazing people who have believed in my dream and me, and readily got on board to support the education and empowerment of all girls.

I wish we lived in a fair world, you know? Where girls everywhere had the same access to good, safe, quality education. Where girls were not afraid to go to class because of lurking danger. We are standing in for all the girls who dream to be more, who dream of attending school, who want safety from perpetrators. How do we do this? We do this by taking up pens, books and pencils and empowering our own through education so that ONE DAY, they may stand and fight for others.

We are fortunate to live in a country where girls are not threatened with guns and knives, but we have our own struggles. These obstacles include, cultural barriers, poverty, illiteracy, gender inequality, and general hopelessness that stand in the way of many girls' access to education.

My hope is that warrior women will implement its programs and also supplement the existing efforts of civil society and individuals to get these girls to stay in school, attain at least a secondary education, and to get other girls enrolled in school. I know we can't get all of them in school at once, and I wish, oh I wish we could but we shall start small, and ONE DAY we shall have a multitude of girls attending school. We know that education is essential in the promotion of gender equality, poverty reduction and a vital ingredient for global peace.

In light of all the above I created a website where you'll find most of our information (side note: if you want to create your own website this is great and it's FREE, you can upgrade for a reasonable fee). Also, I cordially invite you all to support our first online campaign called 'I am a girl' to support our initial programs.

In a few weeks, I will upload profiles of the girls whose lives you're going to change through your generous contributions. In the meantime please check out our website and campaign to acquaint yourself with our vision and mission for our country. Spread the word boldly and let's stand together for a time such as this.

I am also excited to announce that we shall be having annual events and hopefully we'll see you at one of the few events we intend to hold. We are in the process of preparing for our very first event, a documentary showcasing the urgency of educating girls globally. The first show will be held in Kumble theatre Brooklyn (date to be announced), followed by one in Kampala in December (date and place to be announced).

Our hope is that you will join us in the cause of the girl child. We want you to be part of the revolution and join the movement to empower girls through education. This isn't just a 'girl thing’; we all need to be on board for real and lasting change to be realized.

Let's all think of the girls in our lives who we would fight for to get something as basic as an education and channel that energy towards the education of one girl, then another, and another until we gain victory.

I feel an uprising, a generation of girls and women who stand up for each other regardless of race, and ethnicity. We are the generation of men and women making it our duty to represent the unrepresented. 'A girl in the developing world still faces overwhelming odds from the day she’s born' (because I am a girl). Let's change that, shall we?

X

Evelyn 

WARRIOR WOMEN: Post 1/2

Hi friends... Oh, you have no idea how much I have wanted to share this with all of you. I am glad that now I am able to. I will get to it, but I am one to tell a long story before I get to the point but I promise I will eventually get to it.

I was born with this innate desire to be part of 'the better world'. I am such a dreamer you see, and at this age I still do believe in a better world. A world free of war, greed and evil not necessarily unicorns. My professor told us in our first United Nations Diplomacy class that, 'there's no place for idealists in diplomacy', and I remember mind rolling my eyes. See, I like to consider myself idealist-realist where I envision things idealistically and then apply that to the reality that's on ground. I fear that if I take the realist approach first I won't be able to dream. Reality tends to fail us before we can even try. 

In my quest for a better world, I made up my mind early on in life that I would work for a Non or Inter-Governmental Organization (hence my UN obsession), every course I have done in school has been driven by that one desire to be part of the force behind a better world. EVERY SINGLE COURSE! I just want to be able to serve people, to serve the world. 

Moving on, after my Law degree I had my mind set that one day I would have my own Non Profit Organization (NPO). I didn't know what it would do, I didn't know how I would do it, where the money would come from. I was absolutely clueless, but you know when you know that you know that is the thing you have to do? This was/is it for me. I decided to trust God on this path to the unknown, some thought it reckless but I have come to understand that you can't try to explain your dream or vision to someone who it wasn't given to. The same way I wouldn't understand why someone would want to go camping. This is an act of blind faith, trusting in a God who has NEVER failed me.

You know what completely leaves my mouth jaw dropping? Last year spring I made the verbal commitment to my NPO by telling my mum. There was no going back on that word. This semester I took a course called; United Nations and Civil Society: A Dynamic Partnership. This course requires us to create our own NPO from scratch. Who would have known? I walk around so awestruck at how God predestines things for us no matter where we are. We have dreams and visions and we don't know why we have them in the moment but then one by one, things start to fall in place and we find ourselves at a total loss for words.

I have so let myself go, where was I? Yes, my dream is here...in Warrior Women, a NPO with a vision to empower girls through education in my country. There is a girl dropout crisis, many girls do not finish school due to many reasons (a post for another day explaining Warrior Women). 

I have an amazing team am working with, and I couldn't do this without them. I have known these girls for eternity I would say, and I am humbled that they believe in me enough to support this cause. Rachel and Sanyu are so passionate and such movers and shakers and I truly am the lucky one to have them on my small YET mountain moving team. 

My 15 year old sister is my muse, she's my lab rat and the person I have brainstormed with and poured my heart out to. I love that she is heavily invested in this. 

Anthony, who I would refer to as my American breakthrough and a few other extra special people who are working behind the scenes. To have each one of them believe in this, I could never fully get the right English words to articulate my gratitude towards them.

In a few weeks, I shall write a post on Warrior Women detailing our vision, mission, why we are necessary, our intentions, why girls etc. 

I look oh so forward to sharing ideas with all of you concerning the 'girl matter', to your support that I undeniably need and I want you ALL to be part of this movement rooting for the girl child. Where their desire to remain in school, or to attend school becomes our desire too. See, education is one of the greatest investments whose benefits are reaped by many. 

“You educate a man; you educate a man. You educate a woman; you educate a generation.” Brigham Young

Email us Warriorwomenorg@yahoo.com or instagram officialwarriorwomen

With Eyes Wide Open.

‘Evil disguised itself and walks besides us under the mid-afternoon sun, darkness no longer its only haven.’ Evelyn  

Guest Blogger; Anonymous

    

I’m not much of a writer. I journal, if that counts. So I am honoured and humbled to have been given the chance to feature on My Beautiful Sweet Friend’s Blog.

I like to think of myself as more of an explorer because I love to be in places that not many would willingly go. More than that, I Love to know peoples’ stories, how they got to where they are and all that. I was lucky enough to have met some people who were more than willing to show me a different side of Kampala.

I went through slums, saw a lot of people, a lot of drugs, and smelt a lot of burning plastic and it was eerily quiet. And everyone was so angry; angry with the injustice, with the Government, and some with God.

One of the friends who took me to these ‘dodgy’ places had always been talking about leaving the country. When he finally got a chance to go to South Africa, he hopped at it and called to tell me. I didn’t ask too much because honestly, I had so much going on in my life (I’m ashamed to admit).

Well, its half a year later and we are sitting in a small restaurant type place...you know the ones with plastic table covers, always dark yet somehow always crowded…And he begins to narrate how His ‘Uncle’ (We all have those) told him about the work in South Africa, the money, the freedom and all things ever dreamed of.

He asked him for about 400,000SHS to get him a Passport ASAP and another 400,000SHS to get him a Visa in a day, to which my friend happily obliged. Of course he ended up having to pay much more for all the ‘necessities’ because as his ‘Uncle’ put it, he ‘just wouldn’t have the time’ as work was to start immediately upon his arrival. Now, for the more seasoned traveller, all these would be RED SIGNS screaming RUN!! For the less seasoned one however, it was simply too good to be true.

Passport and Visa in Hand, having forked over his savings and most of his parents’ earnings, (almost up to 3 Million, possibly more), he boarded the flight to South Africa. As with most of these stories, it was actually too good to be true.His new passport was taken from him ‘for safekeeping’ and he watched in confusion as his ‘Uncles’ friends proceeded to manually remove his visa ( who knew that was even possible). He was told he wouldn’t need it anyway since he was probably going to stay a really long time.

Himself and many others were put in the back of a truck and taken to a city they didn’t know, and put to work in a garage, a warehouse and other places he said weren’t worth mentioning, just never the one he was promised.In a few days, he had gone from having a home, a community and familiarity, to being homeless, stranded and completely abandoned. He was paid 5 Rand a day which he had to hand over for a corner in a room to sleep, and even though he had known poverty at some point, he says he could never have imagined such a place existed, especially not after all the wonderful things he had been told before going there.

He called his ‘Uncle’ by the hour, to ask him what was happening, if this was just temporary, perhaps it was a mistake; and each time the phone went unanswered, he felt his heart drop even further and his hope disappear.

Each sentence filled me with dread as to what the following days held. Would he be used as a sex slave? Would he be beaten? One thing is for sure, he is different from the friend I had before he left. 

Yes, Thank God he made it home, I’m still not sure how because he didn’t seem ready to talk about it. As he wistfully recounted the story with tear glazed eyes, I wondered how many more like my friend are still out there. 

Sadly, his story is so unrelatable and in fact so unbelievable to those he tells in his Community, that many are convinced he stole the money, went abroad and went through it so quickly that he had to come back. After all, anywhere but Uganda is Heaven, and success out there is a given. Since his return he has felt guilty, ashamed and deeply regretful; as though this injustice were somehow his fault.

He is now back home working for 450,000SHS a month, 14 hours a day and still dreaming of the day he leaves this country, never to return.  He is still trying to pay his parents back for all the money he begged them to loan him.

Why am I telling you this?

I’m telling you this because that ‘Uncle’, and many like him make a business out of this modern day kidnapping. He is doing the same to so many like my friend knowing that there are still many desperate to leave the country; so for now and a while to come , his ‘business’ is a lucrative one.  

I’m telling you this because this is just another form of Slavery. With his Eyes Wide Open, my friend was taken from his Home, made to work in hopeless, degrading and unbearable conditions that he was only lucky to escape.

I hear countless stories of people saying ‘I was supposed to go to Dubai’, ‘a guy got me a job in Germany’, ‘I’m leaving to work in Paris, I know someone there’… And I wince at the thought of their fate being similar to that of my friend, with possibly worse consequences.

I want my country to flourish, to change and to grow Desperately… but sometimes I wonder when that change will come. When will we be able to go to the Police and report ‘Uncle’ and have the case seriously followed up? When will a woman be able to report domestic abuse and have a response other than laughter and even more abuse? When will our country be a place people run to, as opposed to running from? I wonder… And what can I/we do to bring this change.

I lay here most nights thinking and wishing, pondering and praying, With Eyes Wide Open.