MY BEAUTIFUL COUNTRY IN IRON CHAINS.

I drive by in my car with tinted windows and full on AC singing to the music pulsing through my radio. I passively see what’s going on around me. A woman with three children, one on her back, the other on her side and holding the third’s hand. I see beggars on every corner, and somehow my heart’s not responsive. I am immune to the gaping poverty all around me. The buildings sing in a low hushed  voice, singing so low as they sink into the ground, dirty water running through the city. The child bends and washes his little pale face with this same water.

Why am I wide-awake like it’s the first time I am seeing this hopelessness? Why do I feel ashamed? It's not my fault! Are we poor because of our government’s apathy and callous ways? Are we poor because of the laziness that society tolerates? We are lost in an abyss and there’s no one to save us. Not even the government we hold in such high esteem.

My country is beautiful, it has the potential for an economic boom, its beauty promises us prosperity. Children dying due to hunger and disease sleeping under our beds. The earth in its redness opens its hands as it takes all with it, no mercy in its eyes. My country, my poor, beautiful country held in iron chains and unable to break free.

I see a child, 14 years old, making his way through the traffic to my car with a sense of hope in his steps. He smiles thinking that I am reaching for some loose change. To his despair, I reach for the central lock to ascertain maximum security. My heart unresponsive, my music even louder, my country in chains. 

Open Letter 10/08/2012

Now that am back home in Kampala, I find myself excessively busy. I was always on my phone but of late I forget that I have one and even when it rings, it sounds so alien. When I lay in my bed at 10:30 pm and feel my feet sore from all the standing and my throat dry from all the talking, I find this sweet pain very rewarding. I am not surviving...I am on top and it's surreal.

The downside to being back home is that I miss my friends immensely. I find myself talking about them in almost all my conversations and I am certain that one of these days I will have no audience but I am learning to adjust. (I am still wishing that they all lived in Uganda.) I don't get to have DMCs (Deep Meaningful Conversations) on the daily but am glad Research In Motion has made our lives a lot easier.

My heart is at peace, I have never felt this before. I am loving this season. I am loving meeting my old friends and laughing wildly like Bertha Mason (how I love Jane Eyre). I don't want this season to end. It's a good place to be.

Keep your heart at peace, free your mind, no envy, no hate, just sip your cocktail and live it breezy.

17/07/2012 OPEN LETTER

Today was a perfect day. It was one of those days with 1000 moments of everything good. I had my family with me...(well quarter of them) and then I got a new family. I had my friends with me (just 1/3 of them) and it was more than I expected. I was filled with joy I cannot express in words and in awe of God's goodness to me through these lovely people. 

The music playing, the glimmer in everyone's eyes, the food and champagne that was endless. Indeed only such things happen once in a while and I had my 'once in a while' and I am glad I shared it with some of the most important people in my life.

This is life, this is love, this is passion, this is carrying cork-less champagne bottles, this is today!

Is that a compliment?

Most of us have a thing or two against being complimented. 


Exhibit A


Girl:                         I like your nails, and I love the polish, I can never work that colour!
Me/you (thoughts): REALLY? I think my nails are okay, besides I have fat fingers, they do look like sausages. Do I counter offer a compliment? awww...I always liked her, maybe we shall become bffs. I never liked weaves anyway.
Me/You (answer): Really? I thought this colour was dodgy plus my fingers are fat! I really do like your shoes.


Exhibit B


Boy:                          Hi... I haven't seen you in forever!!! You look really nice!!!
Me/You (thoughts): "Really nice" hmm..How bad was it before? Ghosh I thought I was the only one who realised how bad I used to look before.! Okay, so I look "really nice", if I smile too wide, I might creep him out and he might think I like him, WAIT...am not the one giving out the compliment so maybe he might like me. What am I going to have for dinner?I hate soup! IS HE STARING AT MY NOSE??? How rude!
Me/You (answer):  Yeah, it's been forever... Sorry, I'm in a rush but nice bumping into you. Bye.


Why is it so hard to just say 'Thank You' without the need for flight or counter offers? Personally I think we have ridiculed selves too many times to take any compliment seriously. We easily think that we are being made fun of or they possibly don't mean it and are just using it as an icebreaker. Am sure we all have our reasons why we would rather freeze in the cold than accept a compliment. 


My suggestion: I suggest that we start by believing that we aren't as bad looking as we think we are and just humbly say 'thank you' whenever we are paid a compliment and refrain from acting strange. Many of us want to be "powerful somethings" so what kind of precedent shall we set for those who will look up to us?

My BuCkEt LiSt.

The meaning of Life has been made clear to all of us almost too often...One day we are alive, the next we are gone. "We are just like grass, and all our glory is like wild flowers. The grass withers and the flowers fall." We have been endowed with such a priceless gift, how you live your life is your business. I don't believe in YOLO because in my next life I am coming back as Gabrielle Bonheur Chanel aka Coco.


bucket list

1. Live in a foreign country for six months... that way I get to immerse myself in culture, act all touristy, meet new people and probably get citizenship in that country.


2. Live in New York City. I know it's so cliché but that's because it's an amazing city. I was 12 years old when I first visited New York. At that age we know very little about what we want, but New York defies age! I just want to get lost in the city, be part of the big crowd, buy cheap designer clothes and rent bags so I can write an autobiography on how I survived in the big apple. 


3. Dance Classes in pole dancing, Salsa, Ballroom, hip-hop, African fusion...I considered ballet but I think my bones are too old to stretch further than 60 degrees, at most!


4. Skinny Dippin'... as they say "bare as you dare"


5. Carnival in Rio de Janeiro. I have personal reservations on Brazil due to its depiction in movies but I love looking at Carnival Pictures and videos. The clothes, MUSIC, accessories and just being part of a large crowd where shoving of people is legally authorised. WHO WOULDN'T LOVE THAT?


6. Road trip with my closest friends to an Island...All paid vacation because I am a lover of all things good.


7. Fall in love and be cheesy and romantic. I actually do want to ride a tandem bike, slow dance in the moonlight, have the big fights, butterflies and rainbows... and in the background have John Legend's P.D.A (we just don't care). (Wonder what the title of this movie would be?)


8. Hello Ellen Degeneres...I think she is so cool, I've practiced her dance moves and am sure WHEN we meet, she's going to love me.


9. My friend introduced me to Andrea Bocelli's 'the prayer' song, and I fell in love with his music. When Celine Dion introduced him, she made it sound like he had died, turns out he was going to sing via satellite. Oh well, I'd love to meet him. He'll sing on my children's baptism. Please stay alive.


10. Meet the F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Cast... 


11. Mariah Carey to sing at my wedding (if I have one)


12. Become a better public speaker... I fear I might talk more than I usually do.


13. Get into Harvard...make friends with someone who has gone to Harvard.


14. Have a street named after me..NO.. have a town named after me.:-)


15. Make a difference in one person's life every week.


16. Live in a 5 star Hotel for at least one year. I love everything hotels,the white sheets and towels, the 
general fresh smell, people are so cordial.


17. Get my sister to write and publish a cook book. She is turning 14 years of age. She is such an amazing cook.


18. EXPERIENCE BLISS


19. Visit India because everyone visits India. *light bulb moment* I can take part in conversations whose focus is on India, not only will I sound smart, I'll be looked at as the adventurous type! 


20. Get the courage to confront people... I'm so timid, I don't like to upset anyone so I do what the reasonable coward does...I take the blame like Akon. 


I have over 50 things to get done on my bucket list, 30 of them are highly unrealistic so I will probably leave it in a will and maliciously impose it on someone. :-D

...THEY...

They told me I would never grow tall...(fine they were right),
They told you that you would never shine...You're a star.
They told you that you would never have great things, your darling little heart worked so hard, and you got ten thousand on ten thousand great things.
They say that everyone says you're like your father, mother, sister, brother, aunts, uncles and your whole clan...You're nothing like that. You are your own person with a family to belong to BUT you are unique (You-nique)
They said sadness would be your daily companion, your only friend...you have the loudest laugh, the kind that's contagious, the kind that brings tears to your eyes.
Who are THEY? This group of elusive people who think they know so much about you? They are inexistent! They will only take the reins if you let them. Until we can find these "they" people, we are not going to pay attention to negative remarks, we are going to be the people we were created to be. People who are ready to run the world! (Thank you Bey for that!)

For my SOULIE

There's a darkness that lurks around when the first morning light appears...trying to ignore it, you put a red ribbon in your hair with a yellow cardigan and pink scarf to just force the day into mellow-day. Happy songs not so happy but you still put up a good fight. When you're about to have the last punch...when you're about to step on the darkness, when you've just let out a little laugh...IT turns around and puts you down. IT kills the little joy you had...and even when you try to sing "this little light of mine, am gonna let it shine...let it shine, let it shine, let....." *voice fades and the light's out* 


Today has been a dark day for one of my most favourite people in the whole world, and it breaks my heart, my whole being inside is dead because her heart is open and it's bleeding...there's nothing I can do to make it all stop...I pray more than a thousand prayers that God's strength will be enough because we are all fragile but they are more fragile in this moment. 
We sleep and hope for better days, for days when you shall smile upon them, when you appear through rainbows, when you put your arms around them and whisper..."it is well", we pray for that peace that transcends all understanding, the kind that will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.